This week The Creepiest Thing is...
The Kia Soul 'Rapping Hamster' Commercial
Yeah, all right, it's a bit weird this week. I know, I know, it's a commercial. Seriously though, it is well creepy. I have had to see this thing over, and over, and over for the past few weeks and every single time it comes on I feel like I've just been assaulted.
Anthropomorphic RAPPING hamsters.
WHY DOES THIS EXIST? AM I BEING PUNISHED FOR SOMETHING?
Horror movies I can do. But this is just beyond creepy.
I do not understand the recent trend to make CGI animals that sing and dance, it's frightening, and then some. It's unnatural, it's freakish, and it is DOWN RIGHT SCARY.
I freely admit that I have come to fear anthropomorphic animals. And I'm looking at you for this Internets. If it weren't for you I could still watch Disney's Robin Hood without feeling the urge to openly weep. But what's done is done, and the fact remains that I will never be able to look at movies from my childhood the same way again. But at least that's easy enough, just don't put the DVD in, however at any given time that horrible thing might just pop out of nowhere and make feel all shell shocked.
Now, please don't think that I hate hamsters. This girl doesn't hate any animals...
except for monkeys. Sorry if that offends you kid, this girl hates monkeys.
I like real hamsters, real hamsters are cute.
cute! Cuddly! Don't you want to take it home?
But wait ... what's this thing?
OHMIGOD WHAT THE FUCK EVEN JUST HAPPENED?!?!?!?!?!
Hamsters should be doing cute snuffly things. Hamsters should be snuggled and adored.
THEY SHOULD NOT BE ROLLING WITH THEIR HOMIES IN A KIA
I don't know you guys, I just don't know. How can I be scared by horror films when there's normal everyday things that are way freakier then anything in the movie theater ... well, with the exception of that horrifying "Cats Vs. Dogs" movie coming out.
Seriously you guys, if this is the turn that popular media is going to take this girl might have to go live in the forest next to a log.