tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13543156488892180812024-01-27T00:35:49.365-08:00This girl digs horrorTwenty-something female with a penchant for all things spooky.Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.comBlogger39125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1354315648889218081.post-52065025159180646682013-03-31T16:53:00.002-07:002013-03-31T16:54:29.916-07:00HAPPY ZOMBIE JESUS DAY CHICKPEAS<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Well, it's that time of year again, and if you're anything like me then this a day of marathoning zombie movies and eating candy until I damn near puke.<br />
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So basically, this is a day of awesome-ness.<br />
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Well however you Spooky-do's decide to spend your celebration of the dead coming back to life to destroy all hope and happiness, I hope you have fun.<br />
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And that you get at least get a good sugar high from it.<br />
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Love and Kisses<br />
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<b> ♥ Spooky Pie</b><br />
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<b><br /></b>Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1354315648889218081.post-77352618317505764012013-03-19T05:14:00.001-07:002013-03-19T05:18:35.000-07:00The ABCs of Death (2012)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So for the first real entry on this blog in well over a year I am totally not doing what I said I was going to when I gave you that list of things I’d be reviewing and strayed far and wildly into something TOTALLY NOT ON THE LIST. If you have a thing about lists, this probably just completely rubbed you the wrong way. And if that’s the case, I’m sorry, but also, seriously, lighten the hell up. Because this gem of a movie rolled into my hometown for ONE WEEKEND ONLY and I did the only sensible thing a creepy confection in my position could, flapped her hands wildly going “OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD” and then proceeded to high-tail herself down to the only theater playing it. If you’re questioning this level of excitement, just what the fricking trailer, and if afterwards you’re still all Mr. “meh, whatever” … well then I don’t think this relationship is going to work after all, I’m sorry honey, we can discuss who gets the kids on which holiday.<br />
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Now tell me that doesn’t look magical to you. Or you know what. Don’t. Because you’ll make me angry, and you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry. I rip off my clothes and go on a path of destruction, mowing down people in my path, and knocking over furniture. I don’t actually get bigger or turn green or anything, I usually just come home tired and embarrassed, while my poor roommate tells the cops how sorry she is for my immature behavior and promises to try to make wear some sort of covering in public, and you know, stop punching children….<br />
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Wait… what was I talking about… and how did I get here? Oh yeah. Anyway, ANYWAY.<br />
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Here is the premise of the film at its most stripped down and basic: 26 film makers are given the task of each creating a film that has something to do with death, with the catch that it must also somehow relate to an assigned letter of the alphabet. These short films come to us from all corners of the globe and span a wide gamut of genres and subject matter; from the comical and camp, to downright artsy fartsy, from freaking disturbing, to the incredibly tragic, and then there’s a couple in there that you just sit, blinking slowly, and going “…. The fuck?”<br />
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I will not lie to you dear readers, not all of the shorts are good. In fact, some of them made this girl just sit there, scowling in contempt and making a disapproving clucking sound. However, I was at no point bored, nor did I zone out. Which is, frankly, a huge accomplishment, since I generally have such issues with spacing that I have on three separate occasions walked straight into sign poles, and each time it was so sadly ironic I would have laughed if not for the metal buzzing sound in my ears and the mother bitch of a headache, since they were ‘stop’, ‘no parking’, and ‘yield’, respectively. Hell, I zoned out halfway through writing this sentence.<br />
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It’s hard to really write a particularly succinct review about a movie that is a collection of shorts, especially when half the fun of them is trying to guess what word they’ve chosen for their assigned letter, and to the credit of the film makers, very few of them were an obvious choice. So here’s the thing; if you want a movie where you’re going to be constantly engaged by the material, then yeah, see it, totally see it. But if you’re prone to fainting or some other form of general sissarey (yes I just made that up, but it’s my word now, and I’m getting it copyrighted) you’re gonna want to take a pass on this one. Maybe go to the bigger theater down the road, catch that new Nicholas Sparks movie, that as far as I can tell is about a girl who cries a lot because she has to ride her bicycle around a quaint beach town.<br />
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Your delicate modern, sensibilities, <i>will </i>be offended, there's just no way around that, Gertrude, I'm sorry. Hell, at points <i>my </i>sensibilities were offended and that takes doing. But despite the fact that there are large clumps of this film that are offensive, and even occasionally hard to watch, I'm going out here and saying watch it. It takes chances, and generally speaking, I'm more offended by a movie that leans towards the safe and throws me something trite and predictable, than I am a movie that makes me queasy at points and at others makes me wonder if I'm actually just going mad very slowly. And sure, maybe I'm a little biased here, because when I saw it I had basically the perfect viewing experience a midnight showing with only six other people, in an awesome, tiny art theater with ridiculously good popcorn. Maybe I would not have this level of affection for it if I'd just been sitting on my couch watching it. Maybe. But I would still respect the novelty of it. And that ought to count for something, right? No? Geez, don't be such a buzzkill...<br />
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Well, that's it for me, for now at least, but you can look for more of my slightly off-kilter views on things soon.<br />
But now this girl is going to bed.<br />
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Until next time:<br />
Hugs and kisses<br />
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<b>♥
</b><br />
<b>Spooky Pie</b><br />
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Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1354315648889218081.post-22087590544574853312013-02-20T17:30:00.005-08:002013-03-19T05:15:46.190-07:00IT'S ALIIIIIIIIVE<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Hello Dears, Darlings, and Spooky-doos.<br />
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I know this blog had pretty much, well, shuffled off this mortal coil. For, Jesus, over a year? But during that time your favorite creepy confection was finishing up that thing where they make you pays tons of money to sit in an uncomfortable desk and be taunted by people who make you do insane things, and never sleep, and then give you a false sense of hope that when it's all over the outside world will welcome you with open arms.<br />
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So basically, that's all over with. And now that I'm in that blissful purgatory in between that place, and the place where they pay <i>me </i>money to sit in an uncomfortable desk and be taunted by people who make me do insane things and never sleep. Which means that I have been returning to my one true love, horror.<br />
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And Christ have I missed it.<br />
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So Imma start cranking out reviews of what I've been watching/reading in the Purgatory, as well as some of the things I had watched/read in the past year or so that I've been neglecting this place. So here's (in no particular order) some of what you have to look forward to:<br />
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<ul>
<li>House of Leaves [novel]</li>
<li>Mama</li>
<li>Cabin in the Woods</li>
<li>Muoi</li>
<li>John Dies at the end</li>
<li>Hansel and Gretel (the Korean movie, not the one with Jeremy Renner)</li>
<li>Pontypool</li>
<li>The devil inside</li>
<li>This book is full of spiders (seriously dude, don't touch it) [novel]</li>
<li>VHS</li>
<li>American Mary</li>
<li>Cinderella</li>
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And on that note, I'm off darlings, but God willing, you'll be seeing a lot more of me<br />
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<b> ♥ </b><br />
<b>Spooky Pie</b>Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1354315648889218081.post-16935922911256716092011-10-06T22:01:00.000-07:002011-10-07T04:24:06.206-07:00American Horror Story<center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/american-horror-story-featured.jpg"></center><br /><br />So as many of you probably already know, last night saw the debut of Ryan Murphy's newest mess with your head spectacular <b><u>American Horror Story</b></u>. And sure there's only been one episode but I am exciiiiiiiiiteeeeeed. Pilot episodes are usually a bit shaky, and sure there were things about the pilot that could have been... better. <i>I know I'm in the minority here, but I could have done with MUCH less naked Dylan McDermott</i>. But overall. When it was over I had a whole "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I NEED TO WAIT A WEEK FOR THE NEXT EPISODE????"<br /><br />Okay, so here's the obligatory synopsis for those of you who weren't lucky enough to catch it, or haven't heard of it, or fall into both categories. It's about this house, all right? This freakishly BEAUTIFUL house in Hollywood, which, of course, everyone who moves into dies really badly. And some people who just stumble into it die pretty bad too, as you see within the first five minutes. The Harmons, our American family who we are going to be sharing our living rooms with every week, move from Boston to said house. They're starting over because Ben (Dylan McDermott) can't keep it in his pants, so his marriage is in need of saving. Wife, Vivien (Connie Britton) is a slightly twitchy ex-cellist, who, while I wasn't too annoyed by, really reminded me of the kind of people that I get cornered by when I occasionally go to Whole Foods, who want to spend five years telling me why I shouldn't drink out of plastic water bottles, and I end up crying or going all Patrick Bateman on them and have to find a new grocery store.<br /><br />Then there's the daughter, Violet, who I haven't seen in anything, but I probably have warmed to the most, just because I feel like back in the dark ages when I was a teenager we would have gotten on swimmingly. There's also the insane ex-starlet neighbor played by Jessica Lange, which is enough of a reason to watch the show, the creepy house keeper, and a host of minor characters that add to the atmosphere which is already completely AWESOME only one episode in. Mainly the first episode is settling you in the characters and the house, and it does that pretty well ... expect for when it becomes the Dylan McDermott's ass show... then this girl starts to yell at her TV, and attempt to toss pants through the screen.<br /><br />It's moody and beautiful, and the music, oh sweet jesus, the music. I shouldn't be surprised that the music selection is so wonderful, it is from the team that gave me my number one guilty pleasure show Nip/Tuck, and while many will like to argue with me that Nip/Tuck was trash (and I'm not saying it wasn't), the music was AMAZING. And I seriously could just <i>lick</i> the camera work.<br /><br />Do I have your attention yet? Because you should be watching this show. Okay, yes, it is a Ryan Murphy show on FX, which means that there is as much violence and sex as they can get onto cable, but we're horror fans! When has boobs and gore ever been an issue for us?<br /><br />I for one, can't wait to see where it goes next, and am delighted that this is my kick off into my month long Halloween celebration. Well dears and darling, it is nearing the 5AM mark, and it means that it is time for this Spooky confection to crawl into bed before the sun makes an appearance. So Ta for now.<br /><br />Love and kisses,<br /><b>♥<br />Spooky Pie</b><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/151258_first-look-ryan-murphys-american-horror-story-1.jpg"></center>Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1354315648889218081.post-1443267415407137502011-08-19T16:14:00.000-07:002011-08-20T03:51:06.841-07:00Eden Lake (2008)<center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/eden11.jpg"></center>
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<br />HI KIDS! Wow, I feel like it was not so long ago that I was all "yeah, I'm gonna start updating again, ALL THE TIME. Really! I mean it!" And then I promptly did no such thing. Wow. I suck. Sorry about that.
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<br />I mean, I could sit here and make excuses to you about how being a perpetual university student eats my life and I've barely had time to <i>watch</i> a movie lately, let alone review one. But you deserve better then my whining, so we'll skip that bit. Especially since I know that most of my fellow horror bloggers have a real life that they manage to upkeep as well as their blogs. But, like I said before, I suck, so let's move on.
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<br /><b>Eden Lake</b> was the movie I watched to reward myself for making it through the summer semester without defenestrating anyone. I had this whole "If I just get through finals, then I can watch <b>Eden Lake</b>, and eat pizza, and all will be right with the world".
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<br />I'm not entirely sure why I decided this movie was going to be my reward, but I did.
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<br />No. Wait. Scratch that. I know <b><i>exactly</i></b> why I decided this movie would be my reward.
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<br />And his name is Michael Fassbender.
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<br />I could watch a movie that starred him as a shut in. And the entire film would just be him pointing to various flower pots he'd collected over the years and explaining why he liked them. And I would be happy.
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<br />I would come away from that film going "Ah yes, today was a good day indeed." The man is glorious, I'm just saying.
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<br />So I set out to watch <b>Eden Lake</b>, and when it was over it had fully solidified for me two facts with which I was already pretty certain of going into it.
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<br />1) Michael Fassbender is an exquisite creature who should always do movies that involve him getting shirtless, and preferably, wet.
<br />2) There is no way in Hell that you will get me to go camping.
<br /> <i>( seriously, if Michael Fassbender, Eli Roth, <b>AND</b> Benedict Cumberatch showed up at my door and asked me to go camping with them ... well, okay, I would go if that happened. But it would give me pause.)</i>
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<br />I went into this film convinced that camping is evil. I am a girl of my creature comforts. Don't get me wrong, I love nature, I do; but at the end of the day I like to come home to a hot shower and a clean bed that consists of a pillow-top mattress, with an extra layer of padding on top of that to make it all marshmallow-y. It was long ago established by one of my best friends that in some sort of a grimy hostage situation I would get us all out by the sheer fact that 24 hours without soap would make me go bat shit crazy, and punch a hole through the nearest wall through which me and my fellow captives could escape.
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<br />Long story short, me and camping are like oil and vinegar. But enough about me, let's move on to this movie about people who are crazy and actually enjoy camping and sleeping on the ground and other madness.
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<br />Meet Jenny (played by the always adorable, even when portraying a complete psychopath, Kelly Reilly) and Steve (played by Michael "sexy shark" Fassbender). Jenny is a school teacher, and I have no idea what the Hell Steve does for a living, maybe he's a swimsuit model or does toothpaste commercials or something, maybe he just gets paid to sit around and look pretty, who knows. They decide that they're going to escape to a remote lake for the weekend that Steve used to go to when he was younger or something.
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<br />Steve has the master plan of using the opportunity of this little get away to finally pop the question to Jenny. Because sleeping in the dirt is some people's idea of romantic. It's not mine, but we established that.
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<br />There are, at this point I should note, layers of foreshadowing and foreboding occurring now. In the night that they first arrive, apparently to spend the first night in a little B&B, because SLEEPING ON THE GROUND ISN'T FUN, the locals come off as ... prickly to say the least. The couple are either ignored or treated to clipped responses, and then get to enjoy the fine folks being generally awful and back handing their children. Now maybe this is the naive little California girl in me talking, but I thought that trailer trash was something that just happened here in the states. Apparently England has it too, well color me surprised.
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<br />The next bit of "this is your sign, just turn the Hell around and go back NOW" comes when they actually reach the titular lake, only to find the surrounding area fenced off to be redeveloped into a gated community. Jenny, in an unknowing voice of doom asks at this point "Who are they so afraid of?"
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<br />Oh Hunny. You don't even know. You don't EVEN know. Just let me hold you.
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<br />When they get to the lake is when we meet the band of merry miscreants who will be our antagonists for the evening. Hoodies. Yay hoodies!
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<br />What starts out as a minor confrontation between Steve and the leader of the pack of delinquents, Brett (played by Jack O'Connel, who I can't hate, because he will always be Cook from Skins for me, and I love Cook from Skins), which escalates to their car being stolen and demolished, which FURTHER escalates to the teenagers <i>hunting</i> Jenny and Steve through the woods.
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<br />Because camping is bad.
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<br />If you go camping you will be hunted down and tortured by psychotic hoodlums.
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<br />That being said, I hesitate to classify Eden lake under the umbrella of "torture porn". Because unlike many of the films that are classified as such, the torture isn't really the central focus of the film. It's more in the vein of a thriller in the sense that more of it is about the chasing and the game of cat and mouse and by today's standards, the violence is really quite tame.
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<br />The aim here, I believe, was not to make the violence itself be what is shocking to the viewers, but have the perpetrators of the violence and the victim/villain relationship be what makes you honestly uncomfortable. It's incredibly common for a movie to pit adults against one another, but less common to have a group of minors be the antagonists - which can make the viewers uncomfortable on two fronts: First, the idea of what many people consider to be children acting in such a fashion, and Second, the idea that adults would be forced to retaliate, and how far would you be willing to go against a group of, so called, children?
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<br />That dynamic is considerably more rare. Though it has been called up in such films as <b>The Children</b> and <b>Who Can Kill A Child</b>, or even such instances at <b>The Bad Seed</b> and <b>The Omen</b>. A plot line in which adults know they must fight back against the younger generation has a way of making an audience a little squirrely.
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<br />There is, I feel worth noting, a very interesting psychology within the group of teenagers. The leader of the gang has rather obvious psychosis - in a crazier then a shit house rat kind of a way. But he is not, cut and dried, the worst of the bunch. A fair number of his comrades are equally happy to hunt down and potentially murder Jenny and Steve. And then there is the lone female of the pack, who records the acts of atrocity on her cell phone without so much as a blink.
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<br />If Horror Movies are the forum through which movie makers air their fears and dissatisfaction with the world, then <b>Eden Lake</b> can be seen as following in the footsteps of George Romero's trend of social commentary. The message at the core of <b>Eden Lake</b> is not just the fear of what today's youth is becoming; but also a horror at the generation that not only raised them to be such monsters, and then washes their hands of them when they begin to act in the manner they were taught.
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<br />And honestly, Jack O'Connell's performance is <i>damn</i> good. You really believe that he <i>will</i> go twenty kinds of ape shit on you if you cross him. And yeah, I was a little biased, like I said before. And sure, in multiple parts I was like "nooooo, he doesn't mean it, not my Jack." Damn my love of skins.
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<br />And really, characterization <i>is</i> the strong point of <b>Eden Lake</b>. Even though I have read a fair deal of reviews that contradict this statement. No. You guys are wrong. I can't hear you. Lalalalalalalalalalalalala.
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<br />The characters are developed just FINE thank you so much. You really really like Jenny and Steve. You're rooting for them. Goddamit, you WANT them to make it out okay and get married, and go live somewhere very very industrialized and NEVER GO CAMPING AGAIN. I was definitely pulling for them, and no, not just because Michael Fassbender is much too pretty die somewhere that dirty.
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<br />And really, if you want to get into characterization and psychology. Let's look at Jenny for a minute.
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<br />Kelly Reilly is really a very underrated actress. Who I really should gave a grudge against for the simple fact that she has the ability to keep getting cast in rolls where she gets to make out with Spooky's favorite boys. Seriously - <b>Dead Bodies</b> with Andrew Scott, <b>Sherlock Holmes</b> with Jude Law, and now Michael Fassbender. You bitch. No, I'm kidding, I love you.
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<br />Jenny begins the movie as this fragile, non confrontational character. While Steve is ready to tell people off and huff and puff when things irritate him, Jenny is just as happy to let them blow over so no one needs to raise their voice. But as she is pushed she grows from mousey damsel to the sort of heroine you hope for in these kinds of movies. And did I mention she does this all in some of the cutest dresses I've ever seen? Sure, I don't think most people of the camping-oriented persuasion would find her clothing choices good for the great outdoors, but meh. If anything I think the choice to have her run through the movie in demure, feminine clothing, was kind of a brilliant choice.
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<br />It's like they said "look at her, she's supposed to be this delicate thing who has small animals do her hair in the morning as she sings. But look what she can become." In this aspect Jenny is much like a heroine in a fairy tale like the Brother's Grimm. But not by Disney. Not by a long shot.
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<br />And much like a Grimm's fairtytale you do not just walk away from <b>Eden Lake</b> feeling good about the world. You feel like you need to take a long shower and then watch kitten videos on Youtube for the next three hours. You feel disoriented and more then just a little uncomfortable.
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<br />And for that I really do have to applaud them.
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<br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/eden7.jpg"></center>
<br />
<br />Okay, Okay, so strictly speaking, <b>Eden Lake</b> is NOT what I would consider "my kind of a horror film". If you know me, you know I like my horror movies a bit more in the supernatural and psychological department, and less in the "BLOOD BLOOD EVERYWHERE" fashion. Especially since I feel like these days you can't throw a rock without hitting a movie that is just about blood.
<br />
<br />I've got news for you Horror Movie Industry, blood all over the place doesn't scare this girl. Hell, that's just a typical Friday night in the Pie household. I think you sincerely underestimate the sheer volume of bandages this girl goes through on a weekly basis. When you're as accident prone as me, blood is about as shocking and uncommon as a roll of toilet paper.
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<br />That being said, <b>Eden Lake</b> is not a bad little film. It has a message and it gets it out there. And from a cine-phile point of view it is shot BEAUTIFULLY. I know you can't tell from my grainy screen caps, but there are points when the camera pulls back to show wide angles of the all the nature and is AMAZING. The framing of shots and the subtle score of the film are really just lovely. It's odd to think of a horror movie as pretty - especially when people are getting brutalized and hobbling through a forest caked in their own blood, but seriously, it is PRETTY.
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<br />While I don't see myself running out to buy <b>Eden Lake</b>, I don't consider the evening I spent watching it to have been a waste either. And let's not forget the valuable message it has brought to us all:
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<br /><b><h1>DON'T GO CAMPING</b></h1>
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<br />I know this girl won't be any time soon.
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<br />Well, until next time kiddies.
<br />Stay out of trouble <b><i>AND</b></i> the woods.
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<br />Hugs and Kisses
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<br /><b>♥
<br />Spooky Pie</b>
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<br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/eden4.jpg"></center>Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1354315648889218081.post-12701093966623829852011-06-22T01:17:00.000-07:002011-06-22T01:58:13.121-07:00Geek flail time of the Fang-banger persuasion<center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/TB4_KeyArtRED_600110526105306.jpg"></center><br /><br />Okay, Okay, Okay, Okay, so I am more then a little aware of the fact that I made a pretty damn similar <a href="http://thisgirldigshorror.blogspot.com/2010/06/i-wanna-do-bad-things-with-you.html">squee-filled post</a> last year. But here's the fact of the matter my chickpeas, I love this stupid show like a bad habit. And, as any of you who watch it may know, last season, like those before it, ended in one hell of a cliff hanger. So For almost a year I've been impatiently awaiting the return of my favorite psychic waitress and her undead vampire beau. <br /><br /><i>(yes, I'm aware there is a lot of seething internet debate about who Sookie belongs with, and I'm getting into that here other then to just get out of the way that I have always been a Sookie and Bill girl, always will be, and no I am not going to argue about this with you)</i><br /><br />So when, a few months ago, a teaser trailer was release, featuring Say Hi's "Devils" I may have gone a little bit mental<br /><br /><center><iframe width="400" height="257" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/7Bc98GVz-c4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></center><br /><br />But I don't think I should be held responsible for the lethal combination of music I love and my favorite trashy TV show. I mean, really, a girl can only take so much. And really, True Blood is an almost overwhelming combination of more things I love then I would care to admit. So I'm bouncing like a kid who didn't take her Ritalin because ON SUNDAY THE WAIT IS OVER AND MY TRASHY VAMPIRE SHOW COMES BACK. DO YOU GET HOW AWESOME THAT IS??? THAT'S LIKE FOUR DAYS! THERE IS A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL!<br /><br />And if you aren't psyched, seriously. Get psyched. Watch this damn trailer and get psyched.<br /><br /><center><iframe width="400" height="330" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/6ggtZqgPUYg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></center><br /><br />And if you still aren't, then Jesus take the wheel, because there is no pleasing you. But keep your negativity to yourself my friend, I will have no raining on my True Blood parade. Especially with how royally my horror TV shows have disappointed me this season, and yes, I'm looking at YOU Supernatural. My only current regret is my lack of proximity to my fellow True Blood nerd friends, because otherwise I would probably be having some sort of ridiculously stupid premiere party with bite mark cookies and Hawaiian punch. Oh well, maybe this girl will have that party by herself.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/trueblood11paquinmoyer.jpg"></center>Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1354315648889218081.post-15386079184829954862011-06-06T16:19:00.000-07:002011-06-07T02:27:52.810-07:00Insidious (2011)<center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/2011_insidious_011-615x300.jpg"></center><br /><br />Dear Insidious, <br /><br />what in the seven hells am I going to do about you? I have such conflicting feelings about you. Let's get one thing straight, you are not, by any stretch of the imagination a <i><b>good</i></b> movie. You are most certainly the exact opposite of that. The problem is there were definitely things about you that I <i>really</i> liked, and I feel like you had the potential to be a good movie and you just sort of went "OH GOD! WE CAN'T BE HAVING NONE OF THAT!!!!" and just threw your hands up and went squealing all the way to the dumpster where this film inevitably ended up.<br /><br />But I'm getting ahead of myself, as I'm like to do. I'll blame it on my long absence from this blog and just missing all my Spooky Dos so damn much.<br /><i>(seriously kids, how have you been? Mama's sorry she hasn't checked in on you)</i><br /><br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/insidious-teaser-creeps-online-470-75.jpg"></center><br /><br />The premise of <b><u>Insidious</b></u> is initially a rather simple one. Laughably so. Like you would look at the synopsis and go "wow... because THAT'S never been done."<br /><br />Renai and Josh Lambert are a young couple who have just moved into a new house with their three children Dalton, Foster, and baby Cali. The house is question, looks like one that I've seen at least 7 horror movies take place in, and so I immediately question their collective wisdom in moving into it. I mean really, the interior looks just like the freaking house that they shot <b><u><a href="http://thisgirldigshorror.blogspot.com/2010/06/house-of-devil.html">House of the Devil</a></b></u> in... which should have been a tip off for me, since I was just <i>so</i> fond of that movie. <br /><br />Shortly after they move in all sorts unsettling things start happening: Doors open and close on their own, phantom voices start talking through the baby monitor, you know fun stuff. And then Renai and Josh's son Dalton falls into a coma with no medical reason behind it whatsoever. Renai gets progressively more hysterical, and justifiably so, and is convinced that everything horrible happening to them is because the house. Josh, however, poo poos the whole thing until Renai finally has a big fat hysterical melt down and then he changes his tune to "oh damn, maybe we should move."<br /><br />... yeah. Maybe you should.<br /><br />So they move into a significantly less creepy, and smaller house. Why they needed to live in a house with eighty rooms to begin with was totally beyond me, but hey, I didn't write this movie. And all seems to be going better for everyone, except that Renai starts seeing a whole NEW bunch of dead things, all of which seem concentrated around their son Dalton.<br /><br />Long story short, they end up calling in paranormal experts that made me feel like I was watching The Ghostfacers spin off of Supernatural. (It's okay if you didn't get that reference, I still like you). And it turns out it isn't the house, or houses, that are haunted, it's THEIR SON, because no one saw that coming. And all the spirits are drawn to the fact that there is essentially and empty living person that they want to cram their fat selves inside and take a stroll.<br /><br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/Insidious-31711-0004.jpg"></center><br /><br />So here's the problem. If that was just the movie I would have been totally cool with it. Sure, it's a little predictable, but hey, that's fine. But then it turns into SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY and the last third of the movie turns into this really convoluted story about astral projection and demons, and lots of little sub plots get introduced only to be promptly forgotten.<br /><br />And I end up thinking "Why couldn't we have just stayed with the ghosts? I liked the ghosts! The ghosts were GOOD", and it's true, they are. There are some genuinely spooky scenes of the ghosts that remind me of why <b><u>Thirteen Ghosts</b></u> is such a guilty pleasure for me; the ghosts are so <b><i>DAMN COOL</b></i>.<br /><br />Not to mention the fact that title sequence was actually pretty nifty. It felt like a complete homage to the supernatural horror films of the 1970's. So I actually got my hopes up way too high because I thought for a hot minute that <b><u>Insidious</b></u> was going to be a new awesome cult movie that felt like it was made thirty years ago. And they had a fairly decent cast, Rose Byrne is absolutely lovely and fragile as Renai, and while it's taken me forever to stop thinking of Patrick Wilson just as "that pedophile from Hard Candy", he didn't too bad either (and I warmed to him considerably after Watchmen). Plus Barbara Hershey and Lin Shaye, who is no stranger to the horror circuit.<br /><br />IT HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL AND THAT IS WHAT MADE ME SO ANGRY!<br /><br />I won't lie I actually yelled in the theater when this movie ended. That's how much just "OH WHAT????" it built up in me.<br /><br />It could have been amazing, instead it just turned into a really really weak attempt to become M. Night Shyamalan's ugly stepsister. I mean, good grief <b><u>Insidious</b></u>! Get some self respect! Look at your life! Look at your choices! <br /><br />It's like they were writing the script and got to the last one third and just all looked at each other and went<br /><br />"Oh God! What do we do now???"<br /><br />"Give the bitches some weird demon nonsense! Bitches love weird demon nonsense!"<br /><br />Which is erroneous you guys. At least this bitch was impressed anyway. And few things annoy me more in a movie then wasted potential. And if you were going to just throw some nonsense in at the last minute, at least make it like, the Cthulu or something.... or, you know, Benedict Cumberbatch. <br /><br />Okay, so I'm going to collect myself and take some deep breaths now. You kids be good until I come back.<br /><br />Love and kisses,<br /><b>♥<br />Spooky Pie</b><br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/Insidious-31711-0005.jpg"></center>Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1354315648889218081.post-40240411967136802982011-06-01T18:06:00.001-07:002011-06-07T01:30:07.711-07:00Guess who's back? Back, again. Spookys' back, tell a friendHello Internet Dears and Darlings, I feel like its been ages since we've spoke. Which is, mostly, because this last semester completely kicked my ass, so all the time I'd usually had to be watching horror movies and inflicting my opinions of them on the populace at large was taken up by, blech, college.<br /><br />But moving on, what's new.<br /><br />Well, a <a href="http://www.imdb.com/rg/VIDEO_PLAY/LINK//video/imdb/vi4232289561/">BRAND SPANKING NEW TRAILER FOR <b><u>DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK</u></b></a> is out now. And after tons of "it will come out later", "it will come out in winter", "it is always winter in Canada", there is now the official release date of August 26th (or the 12th? There still seems to be some conflict on that). And you had better believe that this girl will be doing her damnedest to find her way into a midnight screening.<br /><br />Other then that, I have a whole backlog of things I've been meaning to review but haven't had time to, so hopefully that will be rectified over then next few weeks. Not to mention a whole dastardly long netflix queue full of shiny shiny horror movies I've yet to watch. So let's expect to see more of each other over the summer.<br /><br />Hugs and Kisses<br /><br /><b>♥<br />Spooky Pie</b>Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1354315648889218081.post-4957095040772690392011-02-14T17:55:00.000-08:002011-02-15T03:27:39.178-08:00Happy "Fuck you if you're single" Day<center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/val2.gif" /><br /><br /><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/6a00d83451fc1769e2010535bb1667970b-320wi.jpg" /><br /><br /><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/jan_21.jpg" /><br /><br /><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/creepy.jpg" /><br /><br /><br /><br /><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/2-13-7.jpg" /><br /><br /><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/2-13-1.jpg" /><br /><br /><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/Scary-valentines17.jpg" /><br /><br />get the bitch a Krampus, <a href="http://thisgirldigshorror.blogspot.com/2010/12/merry-christmas-spooky-dos.html">bitches loves Krampus</a><br /><br /><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/Scary-valentines53.jpg" /></center><br /><br /><br />Yeah, so, have a good thing....<br /><br />whatever.<br /><br />I'll follow you until you love me<br /><br /><b>♥<br />Spooky Pie</b>Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1354315648889218081.post-41954659847749730452011-02-09T20:48:00.000-08:002011-02-10T03:20:36.806-08:00Exquisite Corpse (novel) - 1996<center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/009yex19.jpg"></center><br /><br />In a totally unbeknown to me coincidence, I sat down to write this review today and noticed that many of my fellow horror bloggers have been participating in <a href="http://womeninhorrormonth.com/">"Women in Horror Month"</a>. I didn't even know that there <i>was</i> such a thing, but it seems mildly serendipitous that I should be reviewing a book by one of the undisputed Queens of horror during in such a month, Poppy Z. Brite.<br /><br />Now, before anyone, especially Z, jumps down my throat for that statement, allow me to qualify it a bit. PZB has, for many years, toted herself as a "gay man in a woman's body", a statement that she got TONS of shit for over the years. And currently Z is attempting to undergo the Female to Male transformation, <i>HOWEVER</i>, Z has even described that from a young age she identified as a "musical loving Queen". So weather as a biological woman, or as the gay man she has always been beneath her skin, I feel that the title of "Horror Queen" is one that PZB should wear with honor.<br /><br />Now, that all aside, let's get onto the meat <i>(oh God, that was a regrettable turn of phrase to use in context with this book)</i> of the review.<br /><br />If you strip <b><u>Exquisite Corpse</b></u> down to its bones, <i>(another regrettable phrase, wow, I'm batting zero)</i>, it's a love story. A really, really, twisted love story. Even though the two lovebirds in question don't even meet until a little over 3/4 of the way through the book; it's clear, in retrospect, that everything that comes before their meeting is Z foreshadowing their eventual romance, they are each other's destiny if you will. And if you won't, then take it outside, your negativity is bringing down the room.<br /><br />In a relationship that would put Bonnie and Clyde to shame, our protagonists Andrew Compton and Jay Byrne are two serial killers with the Atlantic Ocean between them. However, as they discover when they finally meet up, they are cut from the same cloth, as they are <i>incredibly</i> similar in their preferences. The main difference between the two - Andrew likes to kill boys, then screw them, then keep 'em in his flat until they smell, at which point he throws them in the Thames.<br /><br />Whereas Jay likes to screw boys, then torture them to death, and then, finally, eat them.<br /><br /><b>WHAT A CRAZY RANDOM HAPPENSTANCE AM I RIGHT?!</b><br /><br />However, it stands to reason that Jay must be a good deal craftier, because while we begin the book with Andrew wasting away in a British prison, Jay is rumbling the about the streets of New Orleans, picking up transient pretty boys. The first part of the book mostly parallels between these two, Andrew's goings on in England versus Jay's in America. And whilst Jay is busy seducing his dinner, Andrew is pulling off an elaborate jail break that involves fooling everyone into thinking that he's dead and then busting out of the Morgue and pretty much slice 'n dicing his way to the airport. And without spoiling much of the journey of the book for you - he ends up in New Orleans.<br /><br />Beneath the plot line of Andrew and Jay's eventual love at first sight encounter, there are two subplots; the first of a Vietnamese boy named Tran who is interested in Jay, and has a rocky past including an abusive relationship with his psychotic, HIV positive, ex-boyfriend. The other sub-plot is the HIV/AIDS epidemic in general, to the point that it is almost a character in the work. A third serial killer, if you will. Most of the supporting characters are HIV positive in the work, and it does deal quite sensitively with the subject matter of the men who are slowly dying of the disease. And it's an interesting juxtaposition against the relatively quick, gory, deaths of Jay and Andrew's victims. And its all set against the already macabre associated backdrop of New Orleans (thanks Anne Rice), which is an apt enough location. This is essentially a modern Gothic novel, and what says Gothic better then the French Quarter and above ground mausoleums.<br /><br />So on a psychological level, that was incredibly interesting. However, as you can imagine with a book about two serial killers in love it is <i>extremely</i> graphic. The details of the murders, necrophilia, and cannibalism leave nothing to the imagination - to the point that <b><u>I</b></u> occasionally felt squeamish. ME! I watch slasher movies while eating spaghetti with tomato sauce! So, really, that should tell you something.<br /><br />Without sounding too prudish, I should also note that it is downright pornographic in points. If Z doesn't pull punches with the violence, then she sure as hell doesn't when explaining sex to the readers. And if I'm admitting that I got a bit squeamish with the gore, I will have to also admit that some of the sex scenes had me clutching at my pearls and lamenting my delicate modern sensibilities, in a full on southern accent.<br /><br />But I don't want you going into the book, should you choose to read it, thinking it is nothing but "sex,sex,sex, graphic murder, eating people, some more sex" ... sure, there is plenty of that. But there is also plenty of interesting psychology tucked inside as well, especially since roughly a third of the book is told from the perspective of Andrew Compton, so literally, the mind of a serial killer. So, if you're interested in abnormal psychology, or serial killers this might well be your cup of tea. But, like when I reviewed Chuck Palahniuk's <a href="http://thisgirldigshorror.blogspot.com/2010/12/haunted-novel-2005.html"><b><u>Haunted</b></u></a>, I feel that it's only responsible for me to warn you that if you don't have a strong stomach you should put this book down, now, really.<br /><br />It's okay, just set it down on the table and walk away. Nobody is judging you, we're all friends here.<br /><br />So, if you feel like curling up this Valentine's Day with a really warped love story, then PZB delivers that. If not, I don't know, there's always Jane Austen or something. With or without zombies or sea monsters.<br /><br />So until next time kids,<br />play nice, tip your waitresses, you know the drill.<br /><br />Hugs and Kisses my Spooky-Dos<br /><br /><b>♥<br />Spooky Pie</b>Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1354315648889218081.post-27724352796745632762011-01-23T15:40:00.000-08:002011-01-23T20:35:34.085-08:00Season of the witch (2011)<center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/M_453cV3.jpg"></center><br /><br />Okay, okay. Right about now you're probably going "what? Another review? Within a week? But Spooky you never do this! Are you sick?"<br /><br />Well kids, the answer to all your questions is "yes", unfortunately. My few remaining days of freedom before university starts back up and I manage to get a head cold.<br /><br />But hey, there are few things that are better to do than to sit around in a movie theater drinking Coke Zero when you're just a bit under the weather. Me and carbonation are like this. So when the whole "Do you want to go see 'Season of the Witch'?" came up I was like: <br /><br />"oh sure."<br /><br />So here's the part where I have to put in the pre-note that despite how trendy people seem to find it these days to heap on the Nicolas Cage hate, I consider myself not standing with the haters on the left, because I don't care, I find the man entertaining. <br /><br />Here's my second unpopular opinion, I actually kinda, sorta, maybe ... <i>liked</i> this movie. But please, hold your stones until the end kids. <br /><br />And keep in mind all the good times we've had...<br /><br />... Please?<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/M_106rV2.jpg"></center><br /><br />First off, to clear up any possible misconceptions, this is not a re-make of the 1973 George A. Romero film of the same title. This one is set during the crusades, and most specifically, the witch trials. Oh yes, and we even open with a good old fashioned one - but at least while you know that the 'villain' of the film is the supposed which, there are no pretenses that the church is the paragon of virtue in this tale.<br /><br />Which is sort of what introduces us to our main characters <strike>Hell Boy and Ghost Rider</strike> Felson and Behman, played by Ron Perlman and Nicolas cage, respectively. These fine lads are two knights of the church who have recently become disenfranchised with the supposed "Holy War"; and its tendency towards brutally killing innocents.<br /><br />But, generally, the church looked on deserters about as kindly as they do witches and through a series of events they get coerced into escorting a supposed witch to an abbey where priests can perform a certain rite on her, because, oh yeah, she apparently is causing the Bubonic plague.<br /><br />But our boys, they be chivalrous, so they only agree to go along if the girl gets fair trial. The merry little troupe is fleshed out by another knight, a boy who wants to grow up to be one, and priest who is, shock, a complete douche bag, and a merchant because he knows the land.<br /><br />Along the way there are plenty of "is she a witch?" "Isn't she a witch", "Is she bad?" "Isn't she bad?". And lot's of Ron Perlman being a bad ass that you really ought to think a moment before trifling with.<br /><br />Okay, so maybe not a very complex plot, but, you know, that can work sometimes.<br />And honestly, after my last foray into cinema with <b><u><a href="http://thisgirldigshorror.blogspot.com/2011/01/church-1989.html">The Church</b></u></a> I have to say that there is something to be said for a movie that <i>makes sense</i> and doesn't just leave me wailing: "WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED HERE?!?!?!" for two hours.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/M_049_05444r.jpg"></center><br /><br />So I'm not sure if I should attribute it to the fact that sometimes I go to movies just to shut my brain off and be entertained, or maybe that I went into it with basically zero expectations; but I just couldn't hate this movie.<br /><br />So yeah, it's not going to win any awards for being the most brilliant to ever grace the silver screen, but it does make a for a fun night.<br /><br />I just realized that this was pretty short as far as my reviews go, but eh, it's better than just going on and on and on and on...<br /><br />Also, I think that I need to watch something that has nothing to do with the freaking crusades next or I may well go daffy.<br /><br />So that's all I got, I'm off to have a hot cuppa and watch the Buffy marathon that's running Chiller right now, and winge about like I'm on my death bed.<br /><br />Because I believe that's standard protocol when you have a cold ... or something. Nobody tells me anything.<br /><br />So until next time, hugs not drugs, tip your waitresses, you know the drill.<br /><br />Hugs and Kisses,<br /><br /><b>♥<br />Spooky Pie</b><br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/M_097_04700rV3.jpg"></center>Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1354315648889218081.post-11727974807733560042011-01-17T03:17:00.000-08:002011-01-17T04:34:58.467-08:00The Church (1989)<center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/church15.jpg"></center><br /><br />So, in the general spirit of thing, when Miss Stacie Ponder over at <a href="http://finalgirl.blogspot.com/">Final Girl</a> announced that <u><b>The Church</b></u> was going to be the new film for <b><a href="http://finalgirl.blogspot.com/search/label/Final%20Girl%20Film%20Club">Final Girl Film Club</a></b> I decided to show my individualism by promptly hopping my spooky bum onto the bandwagon. Hush you, hush.<br /><br />The trouble is, I watched said film club movie and then went "Wow ... what the Hell am I even going to say about this?"<br /><br />What indeed, my darling Spooky Do's?<br /><br />I've had almost 48 hours to digest this movie and I still have no idea what the hell it was I watched. I think the big problem was that it was a Dario Argento film, in the truest sense.<br /><br />Now, you might be saying "But Spooky! Isn't <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0076786/"><u><b>Suspiria</u></b></a> one of your favorite horror movies <b>EVER</b>?", and you're not wrong random person I don't know, it is. However, I think I may have been truly spoiled by the fact that <b><u>Suspiria</b></u> was my <i>first</i> Argento film. So, of course, I saw it, I adored it, I decided I needed to try and get my sugary little hands on as much more Argento as I could.<br /><br />I mean, if the man was capable of the masterpiece that is <b><u>Suspiria</b></u>, his other works must be great too! Right?<br /><br />After spending one of my coveted "apartment to myself" weekends watching such examples of his films as <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073582/"><b><u>Deep Red</u></b></a> and <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093677/"><b><u>Opera</b></u></a>, I can safely say that, no, no this isn't the case at all.<br /><br />Argento somehow stumbled onto something beautiful and awe-inspiring with <b><u>Suspiria</b></u>, and true to the old adage, lightening didn't strike the same place twice. His other films struck me as largely plotless jumbles, with some occasional jarring music thrown in, and liberal amounts of thick, almost play-doh looking blood. Yes, he has a good eye, and yes each of his films has instances of absolutely <i>gorgeous</i> cinematography and framing, but if you remember my <a href="http://thisgirldigshorror.blogspot.com/2010/10/parasomnia-2008.html">review of <b><u>Parasomnia</b></u></a>, you'll recall my sentiment that just making the movie <i>pretty</i> won't necessarily make me able to sit through it. <br /><br />And I'm sorry to say, like the other aforementioned films, I found <b><u>The Church</b></u> to be much like that.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/church11.jpg"></center><br /><br />Okay, well here's the part where I try to explain the thin amount of plot that there was. Because, really kids, I did just feel like this was one huge jumble of "WHAT??? WHAT??? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?".<br /><br />All right, here we go. So we start out with a bunch of knights who have apparently tracked down a village of witches? Maybe? This doesn't really get explained. One of the village girls offers the leader of the knights water, and he freaks the Hell out because it's tap and he only drinks imported bottled water from the Swiss Alps.<br /><br />So him and all his apeshit knight friends kill the whole village, and throw them in a giant hole. Then one of the lead knight's advisers has the AMAZING (and by amazing, I mean incredibly stupid), that the only way to purify the land that this den of sin was they have to build a church right on top of it.<br /><br />I don't get the logic, but hey I wasn't a bat-shit crazy person in the middle ages.<br /><br />Also, I really felt like at some point it was just going to degenerate into the Spanish Inquisition.<br /><br /><center><object width="400" height="325"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/CSe38dzJYkY?fs=1&hl=en_US&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/CSe38dzJYkY?fs=1&hl=en_US&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="400" height="325"></embed></object></center><br /><br />But Monty Python may possibly have been <i>too culturally accurate</i> for this film. I'll let you take minute to soak that idea up.<br /><br />Moving right along...<br /><br />We cut to "modern times", or at least the eighties, and the titular church that was built atop the bodies of the non-Evian drinking hippies that the knights slaughtered.<br /><br />The amazing Plastic Librarian, a.k.a Evan I-don't-have-a-last-name is starting his first day of work cataloging at the church. He seriously looks like a kind of deranged Ken doll. En route a girl restoring a fresco drops her art supplies on his head, so he asks her out.<br /><br />This is my flirtation method too kids, someone throws things at me and I think "HOT DAMN!" Obviously, Evan, like me, still assumes that the romantic world still operates like it did in Elementary school and you have to wait for someone to hurl something at you before you can tell whether or not they like you.<br /><br />Evan then makes his way to the library, where he meets Lottie, played by Asia Argento, Dario Argento's daughter, because for some reason he likes to cast her in really uncomfortable roles, all things considered. Lottie lives in the church because her father does ... something. He's a Sacristan? I'm afraid I'm showing my ignorance because I had NO IDEA what that was, but hey, whatever, I don't imagine it's going to come up much.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/churck2.jpg"></center><br /><br />Evan ends up uncovering a text that promises him eternal life if he unlocks something beneath a stone with seven eyes. This, obviously, is going to end well. Because, apparently, under the stone is Argento's version of Whedon's Hellmouth.<br /><br /><i>yes, I know this pre-dates Buffy, but Buffy is <b>A LOT</b> better, so therefore I am going to give Joss the props here</i><br /><br />So Evan unlocks the evil door, and get possessed.... I think. Or he just decides to be a pedophilic rape fiend for the fun of it. I don't know. The man is weird. But this is a little strange, because you really got the feeling that the film was going to be about Evan with-no-last-name, and the art supply throwing girl. But apparently Evan is just there to be a sweaty perverted device to move the film along.<br /><br /><i>Apparently</i>, and I'm as shocked as you are here, the real main characters in <b><u>The Church</b></u> are Lottie, and Father Gus, the black priest and ONLY ATTRACTIVE MAN IN THE WHOLE MOVIE. I am supposing that the reason behind this is that him and Lottie are supposed to be examples of untainted good in the face of the evil leaking out of the hole under the church.<br /><br />That's a bit confusing though. You know next to nothing about Father Gus, other than that he likes archery, and has really strange visions about a sprinting, dwarf version, of one of the extra's from <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071853/"><b>Monty Python and the Holy Grail</b></a>. But okay, he's a priest, he gets some slack. But Lottie? The child is like twelve, and she sneaks out every night to do drinking, dancing, and I'm sure whoring. I'm pretty confused on why she should be a moral compass. But hey, what do I know, I didn't write this movie. Obviously, if I did it would star Eli Roth and Benedict Cumberbatch. Like all movies I would make.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/church8.jpg"></center><br /><br />Apparently when the church was created, it was made with some sort of self destruct function that would activate if the evil within the church were released. Well, that kicks off, and the church seals itself up. This traps all aforementioned people, as well as a bunch of kids on a field trip, a biker couple, a film crew doing a modeling shoot, and an old couple inside the church.<br /><br />So then comes the choice; either activate the "kill switch" and destroy the church so that the evil doesn't destroy the outside world, or let it take its course, and it'll probably wipe out everything on earth.<br /><br />While this pot is boiling, everyone in the church starts being effected by the evil and essentially going balls crazy. And here's where any sort of sane plot we might have had put up its hands and walked away in defeat.<br /><br />Because from here on out, it's people hallucinating, stabbing other people with gate partitions, molesting each other, decapitating their spouses, and performing candlit satanic rites in the nude.<br /><br />Is my earlier assessment of "What the Hell even just happened here?" beginning to make some sense?<br /><br />I think my brain kind of checked out somewhere between the bizarre plastic-wrapped orgy and the man hallucinating that there is a giant fish trying to eat his face.<br /><br />Like I said before:<br /><br /><center><b><h1>WHAT?!</b></h1></center><br /><br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/church4.jpg"></center><br /><br />Dear God on a tuna melt, what was this all even about?<br /><br />I don't know, I really just .... ack. I don't know at all.<br /><br />But, like I said before it is <i>pretty</i> to look at. So, in fact, when I was going back to screencap it, and I just had my iTunes on, and the movie audio on mute it wasn't all that bad. While Argento misses the mark with a fair amount of things, the man knows how to set up a film so that it looks like a piece of art.<br /><br />Usually I can sit down and figure out the message behind a horror film. Because they are a common used medium for such a thing. Look at the Romero zombie films and how full of social commentary they were, or even the original <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0049366/"><b><u>Invasion of the Body Snatchers</b></u></a>, or films like <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0286751/"><b><u>Kairo</b></u></a> and <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0312843/"><b><u>Suicide Circle</b></u></a> which reflect Japan's concern with the increasing lack of connection the country's youth possesses with itself as well as as a whole.<br /><br />If <b><u>The Church</b></u> had any sort of a message I will be damned if I could decipher it.<br /><br />I'm not going to lie, I think I've run out of everything I can say about this movie other than just tons and tons of ellipses indicating awkward pauses as I open and close my mouth trying to figure out what to say about the damn thing.<br /><br />I guess it's not a <i>terrible</i> movie, and if you wanted to put on your favorite CD and just have something to stare at, some of the visuals are pretty hypnotic, so that might not be a bad day.<br /><br />But this girl's head still hurts from how much she was scratching it after watching this one. I'm going to have to go catch up on <b><u>Dexter</b></u> now or something to get rid of the weird taste that <b><u>The Church</b></u> left behind.<br /><br />So, until next time,<br /><br />Hugs and kisses kiddies, and stay in school<br /><br /><b>♥<br /><br />Spooky Pie</b><br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/church1.jpg"></center>Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1354315648889218081.post-67205857188833712032010-12-25T01:33:00.000-08:002010-12-26T02:10:08.564-08:00MERRY CHRISTMAS SPOOKY DO'S!!!<center><object width="400" height="325"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ICibGFpwZFU?fs=1&hl=en_US&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ICibGFpwZFU?fs=1&hl=en_US&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="400" height="325"></embed></object></center><br /><br />If that doesn't give you the warm fuzzies then God help you, I don't know what will. But is this season of festivity and giving really about love and kindness? Have we forgotten the true meaning of Christmas? And by true meaning, I am, of course, referring to;<br /><br /><center><span style="font-size:180%;"><b><h2>PURE UNDILUTED TERROR</h2></b></span></center><br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/2092122378_2b28eb804e_m.jpg" /></center><br /><br />For the love of God and all that is holy, <b><i>HAVE WE FORGOTTEN ABOUT KRAMPUS?!?!</i></b><i></i>.<br /><br />Sure, when most people think of Christmas the first image that comes to mind is kindly old Saint Nick breaking and entering into our households in the name of tasty, tasty commercialism. But the real ringleader in this circus is his friend, the demon Krampus. Let's face it, there are things, much, much, much worse than getting friggin' <b>COAL</b> for being naughty.<br /><br />Good 'ol Krampus likes to beat Naughty Children with Rusty chains and then stuff them in his sack. I don't know where Krampus takes the little Hell spawns, and quite frankly, I don't want to.<br /><br /><center><object width="400" height="325"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/x0s6WNL80Hw?fs=1&hl=en_US&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/x0s6WNL80Hw?fs=1&hl=en_US&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="400" height="325"></embed></object></center><br /><br />So ladies and gentlemen, as you sit down to your happy Christmas activities this year, just take a moment and remember the sage advice of our good friend Stephen Colbert.<br /><br /><center><h2><span style="font-size:130%;"><b>Krampus knows when you've been naughty, knows when you've been nice, </b></span></h2><span style="font-size:180%;"><b><i>AND HE KNOWS WHEN YOU SHOWER ALONE</i></b></span></center><br /><br />Happy Christmas Dears and Darlings!<br /><br /><b>♥<br />Spooky Pie</b><br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/krampus1.jpg" /></center>Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1354315648889218081.post-53361366222466329942010-12-20T16:29:00.000-08:002010-12-21T14:51:26.589-08:00Haunted (novel) - 2005<center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/22288.jpg" /></center><br /><br />Some of you may, or may not, know that I basically heart Chuck Palahniuk more than what probably lies in the realm of human decency.<br /><br />Sure, sometimes I have a hard time remembering how to spell his last name, and yes there is the matter of that pesky little restraining order (I kid, I kid). But in short, I pretty much devour every book of his as soon as I can get my mitts on it.<br /><br /><i>However</i>, I was somewhat resistant to reading <b><u>Haunted</u></b><u></u> for awhile. This is largely because instead of being just one large storyline, it breaks off into sub stories told by each of the characters. And, generally speaking, I don't usually go for 'anthology' type books, mostly because I like to have the entire novel to get to know the characters, get a feel for them. When it's a bunch of short stories I usually feel like the individual tale ends before I have gotten anywhere in the neighborhood of giving a good, and honest, damn about the characters.<br /><br />Well, a pox on me for being such a ridiculous ninny! Why I thought good 'ol Chuck would fail me this time, when he never has in the past, I don't know. I'm a silly bitch.<br /><br />So the essential idea of <b><u>Haunted</u></b><u></u> is this;<br />Seventeen people sign up for a three month Writer's Retreat. They are to be completely cut off from the outside world during that time, and are told that this will be the time to write the masterpiece of their career.<br /><br />No real names are allowed, and everyone is allowed only one suitcase. In theory, none of the participants are in any real danger, the only real trouble is that no one is allowed to leave before the three months is up, and the retreat is below ground and remote enough that escape is highly unlikely.<br /><br />The real trouble comes from the seventeen writer's realization that rather then create their own master works, they are going to gain a fortune telling their story to the outside world. Of how they were held captive, tortured, forced to survive without heat or food.<br /><br />None of this is actually inflicted on the writers by the people organizing the retreat. It's the writers themselves who become their own villains, even though, for the sake of the story, they have painted the organizer and his assistant as their villains and captors. So it really isn't that surprising when the writers begin to die off one by one, and with each one who bites the dust the others don't mourn; they just discuss how they will have to split the royalties in fewer directions.<br /><br />On the side of the core narrative of the goings on in the retreat, as told by an unnamed narrator. Each character has a side story, and each story has to deal with what dark secret drew them to hideout in the retreat.<br /><br />As the title would suggest, each of the writers is, in fact, Haunted.<br /><br />Throughout the course of the book comparisons keep being drawn between this little group of writers, shut off from the outside world, and the Villa Dioda. For those of you not in the know, this is where Mary Shelley, Lord Byron, Percy Shelley, and John Pollidori holed up; this resulted in the writings of both <b><u>Frankenstein</u></b> and <b><u>The Vampyre</u></b><u></u>. And it's an easy enough comparison to draw, and, more than likely, since it is Palahniuk who gives us this parallel, that this was in fact what inspired him to write <b><u>Haunted</u></b><u></u>.<br /><br />However, this is really not the comparison that most came to mind for me whilst I was reading this novel. Throughout the whole thing I could not help but be reminded of Jean-Paul Sarte's <b><u>No Exit</u></b><u></u>, and it's chilling, most infamous line:<br /><br /><center><b></b><h2><span style="font-size:180%;"><b>Hell is other people.</b></span></h2></center><br /><br />For those of you unfamiliar with Sarte's work, <b><u>No Exit</u></b><u></u> is about three completely unrelated people who die and end up locked in a room together. After a bit they realize that they are in Hell and each one speculates on who is the torturer and what torment they will receive. It soon becomes evident that there isn't a torturer, it's just the three of them, locked in a room together, for all of eternity. The only torment stems from the way they treat each other. Which leads to the one character's realization that "Hell is other people".<br /><br />And, considering that all the harm that comes to the players of <b><u>Haunted</u></b><u></u> comes from themselves, is it any wonder that <b><u>No Exit</u></b><u></u> was the first thing that came to mind? I didn't think so.<br /><br />Do I recommend <u><b>Haunted</b></u>, yes, but <u>NOT IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH</u>. This novel is really quite grisly at points, considering one of the short stories called <b><u><i>Guts</i></u></b><u><i></i></u><i></i>, Palahniuk read aloud and reportedly has had multiple faint from listening to it. Also it was a story controversial enough that it got a <a href="http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/bronx/teacher_suspended_for_giving_self_nV6xCRYzrjDVUIZFbdXD2L">Highschool teacher sacked</a> for having his students read it.<br /><br />So really, bare that in mind, and I don't even think that it's the most disturbing part of the book. HOWEVER if that is something that you can get past it's a GREAT book, not my favorite of his works, but still pretty damn amazing in this girl's opinion.<br /><br />Okay, so there you have it.<br /><br />Kisses and hugs.<br /><br /><b>♥<br />Spooky Pie</b>Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1354315648889218081.post-70815445721227972492010-12-06T17:10:00.000-08:002010-12-06T20:59:30.671-08:00Peeping Tom (1960)<center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/tom22.jpg"></center><br /><br />Well, ladies and jelly-spoons, today's offering is a bit of an oldie, but it's like what they say about re-runs; "If you haven't seen it before, then it's new to you".<br /><br />So, I will grudgingly admit that this girl didn't even know of this film's existence until about a year and a half ago, but I guess that shouldn't be so surprising, considering the sort of reception <b>'Peeping Tom'</b> got when it was released caused it to get relocated to the status of 'cult film'.<br /><br />Sure, by today's standards, <b>'Peeping Tom'</b> is about as disturbing as moldy pudding, but this was England in 1960, stiff upper lip and what have you, through that lense its understandable that at the time it was considered pretty much the filthiest thing ever.<br /><br />I'm not going to say that there aren't themes in <b>'Peeping Tom'</b> that even by today's standards aren't a bit risque, but in our modern age of films like <b>'Hostel'</b>, <b>'The Hills have eyes'</b>, and Hell, even <b>'Silence of the Lambs'</b>, this film is shot in such a tasteful fashion that you almost can forget that there are some deeply warped psychological themes at work here. <i>Almost</i>.<br /><br />But let's not get ahead of ourselves.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/tom21.jpg"></center><br /><br />Much to my disappointment, the lead of this film is not, actually, named Tom. I guess that would have been to kitsch, but whatever. His name is Mark Lewis <i>(I still think that is should have been Tom)</i>, he works as a 'scene puller' for a movie studio. I don't know tons about making movies, but as far as I could tell its got to do with setting the optimal scene up so all the camera man has to do is press the button. Mark also works part time taking erotic pictures for small newspaper store.<br /><br />A little odd, but meh.<br /><br />Anyway, Mark is a pretty quiet unassuming kind of a guy. Except for the fact that he likes to murder prostitutes with his tripod, whilst filming their expressions as they bite it.<br /><br />But, you know, who doesn't ...<br /><br />He also spends almost every night in his little home theater re-watching his snuff films. This is pretty much the extent of his social interaction until one night when he comes home from a long night of staking prosies and runs into his downstairs neighbor Helen.<br /><br />She's having a party for his 21st <i>(yeah, right, 21st)</i> birthday. She tries to get him to come join the party, but, being the socially awkward thing he is, Mark declines and scurries upstairs to his apartment.<br /><br />Now too long after this Helen traipses upstairs with a slice of cake and wiggles her way into his apartment, and his home theater. Once inside she pretty well browbeats Mark into showing her one of his little films. A bit pushy, but hey, some people like forthright broads. <br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/tom15.jpg"></center><br /><br />Mark has enough common sense to not show her one of his 'stabby-stabby' productions, and instead pulls out a reel that introduces us to the undercurrent of the film that is possibly even more disturbing then the obvious one of Voyeurism. <br /><br />The film that Mark shows Helen is one of him as a little boy that his father took. Apparently, Daddy was a psychiatrist, and a pretty warped one at that. His main focus was studying the effect of fear on people, specifically children. So he experimented on his own son, and filmed the results. We aren't shown what, exactly, the old man did to young Mark, but leaving it to the viewer's imagination lets us assume the worst possible.<br /><br />And so lays our groundwork for Mark as a serial killer; his fascination with viewing everything through the lens of a camera, and his further fixation on fear. The only thing not surprising about this whole thing is that Mark doesn't have Daddy's bones under the floorboards or something.<br /><br />Despite the fact that any sane person would have taken their fashionable taffeta party dress and ran like hell, this actually sparks a sort of romantic relationship between Helen and Mark.<br /><br />Go figure.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/tom7.jpg"></center><br /><br />Their little romance is pushed a long by the fact that Helen is writing a Children's book about a child with a magical camera, and she wants Mark to collaborate with he for the pictures of the book. He agrees, giddily, even.<br /><br />While on one hand he is having a sort of sweet, childish, romance with Helen, he is still making his snuff films on the side. Adorable, right?<br /><br />Early on in their courtship, Helen's blind mother's "spidey senses" go off about Mark, and despite her warning her daughter against him, Helen goes along merrily with her beloved serial killer.<br /><br />But when one of Mark's victims for the sake of cinema is high profile enough that it gets a full on investigation going, Mark starts to lose his cool a bit, and enter into a downward spiral, eventually leading to the film's conclusion.<br /><br />Okay, the plot is a little simple, but if you are able to get beyond that, <b>'Peeping Tom'</b> is a psychological goldmine.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/tom5.jpg"></center><br /><br />Voyeurism is definitely the prevailing theme in this film, and its done quite cleverly if you're willing to give it a good look. <br /><br />The opening of the film is shown entirely as though you are looking through the lens of Mark's camera. This makes the viewer, the audience, into the predator. Stalking the first victim from the street, up to her loft, and closing in on her face as she is killed in a way that makes you feel like you're even hovering over this woman, and delivering the final blow yourself.<br /><br />In this sense its a commentary on society and its desire to look at the grisly/uncomfortable. <b>'Peeping Tom'</b> is just an analysis on mankind's need to stop and stare at car wrecks. Ironically, the same public that loudly denounced <b>'Peeping Tom'</b> as "nauseating" and "vile", are the same people who slow down to look at a freeway accident, with no intention of helping the people involved.<br /><br />Mark is just one person made into an analogy for the majority of mankind.<br /><br />And another thing is, beyond the fact that, yes, Mark is totally a cold-blooded serial killer, he is still a character that you feel sympathetic towards. The way he acts with Helen is so charming its ridiculous, he becomes a little boy around her. Especially when you take into account that this was a guy who didn't really get to have a childhood thanks to dear old dad.<br /><br />I will admit, that at first I had trouble with Mark as a lead. Mainly because through all of it I felt like I was watching Graham Norton's deranged uncle.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/tom3.jpg"><br /><i>tell me you don't see it</i><br /><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/graham-norton-demand.jpg"></center><br /><br />But once I got past that, he was kind of endearing. But then again, I've been known to sympathize with the protagonist anti-hero in these types of things.<br /><br />Right, so, should probably wrap this up because I'm running out of things to say that won't be just long rambling nonsense. So let's tie this up here.<br /><br />Is <b>'Peeping Tom'</b> worth watching? I think so. I can see how it is considered a classic, and I also see how it can be seen as a compliment to Alfred Hitchcock's <b>'Psycho'</b>. No, I don't think it's for everyone, and I'm pretty sure that by today's standards it's too slow moving for a lot of people. And it's not a gore fest by any stretch of the imagination, in fact the murders are very subtle. At the heart of it, <b>'Peeping Tom'</b> as actually a quite sensitive movie, and I think that if most of the critics who slammed it took a closer look at it, they would see that it actually a quiet, repressed, almost heartbreaking portrait of a psychologically damaged little boy trapped in the guise of a grown man.<br /><br />So until next time my darlings,<br />Love and kisses!<br /><br /><b>♥<br />Spooky Pie</b><br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/tom4.jpg"></center>Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1354315648889218081.post-52279983011344036992010-11-28T02:35:00.000-08:002010-11-28T04:34:47.556-08:00The Dead Set (Television) - 2008/2010<center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/85B6C096-2697-477C-8D51-3C98BF2F768F_extra.jpg"></center><br /><br />Oh Britain and your zombies, what am I going to do about you?<br /><br />I feel like I'm the only person in the horror circuit who didn't fall head over heels for the British five part mini-series <b>"The Dead Set"</b>, that aired on IFC Halloween night. I'm not saying that I <i>hated</i> it or anything, I'm just saying that I don't really feel the need to move to a quaint little house in the country and pick out lacy curtains either.<br /><br />Now here's where I'm going to get a little more un-popular. I am not the hugest fan of zombies. I KNOW I KNOW. What sort of self respecting horror blogger am I if I'm not all:<br /><br />"WOOO HAAAA! ZOMBIES! NOTHING BUT ZOMBIES ALL THE TIME!!!!! GOD HELP ME! I LOVE ME SOME FREAKING ZOMBIES!"<br /><br />If that was the sort of talk you were expecting out of me, well, then now is your time to disown and turn your back on me. Because that just isn't the case. I'll understand if you do this, I really will, but I was hoping that we could at least still be friends...<br /><br />But before you hold this all together against me, let me explain to you my side of the story.<br /><br />Some of you might already know this about me, but I really don't scare. My friends, and especially my roommate, think that I am overly desensitized to horror, and who knows, maybe they're right. However, one of the only things that <i>can</i> get to me is cannibalism. I can't help it, the idea of being eaten while you're still alive is, in my opinion, that absolute worst way to die. Seriously, I can't even deal with it.<br /><br />This is why I generally give movies like <b>'The Hills Have Eyes'</b> and <b>'Texas Chainsaw Massacre'</b> a wide berth. So, obviously, this is a statement that extends to Zombie films. It's only been the past couple of years that I've really been able to make myself sit down and watch zombie films without getting nauseous and generally a bit freaky.<br /><br />It's really only on account of films like <b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0365748/">Shaun of the Dead</a></b>, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1156398/"><b>Zombieland</a></b>, and <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0457572/"><b>Fido</b></a> that this girl was able to ease into the zombie genre. <br /><br />Now that I've rambled about me, as I am like to do, Let's actually talk about <b>The Dead Set</b>.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/479E726E-D713-493D-8D7C-4630F606C168_extra.jpg"></center><br /><br />The premise of <b>The Dead Set</b> revolves around the ever-popular British Reality Series <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Brother_%28UK%29"><b>Big Brother</b></a>. Which, for those of you <i>not</i> in the know about this sort of thing, <b>Big Brother</b> is a show where a group of people are kept in a house together, secluded from all contact with the outside world. There are cameras installed everywhere within the house, so that the inhabitants are constantly being recorded, and there's also a "diary room" where people sit and talk into a private camera, generally about who in the house that they hate.<br /><br />Every so often certain inhabitants are nominated to be "evicted" from the house, and the British public gets to vote for who they want out. Whichever housemate lasts through the series without being evicted gets a cash prize. In a creepy George Orwell-ian tribute, there is a giant glowing eye in the house through which a voice reminds the inhabitants that 'Big brother is watching you'.<br /><br />I don't get it, but hey, my only real experience with the <b>Big Brother</b> franchise before this was <a href="http://tardis.wikia.com/wiki/Bad_Wolf_%28TV_story%29">an episode of Doctor Who</a>.<br /><br />So the heart of <b>The Dead Set</b> revolves around the fictitious group of current housemates, and the people who work behind the scenes producing and what have you.<br /><br />The heroine of the series is arguably Kelly, who begins the story as a 'runner' on the show. Kelly and her boyfriend are in a bit of a tiff, which shouldn't be anything we care about, except that the boyfriend, Riq, is to become the window into the world outside the studio... so it's a little bit relevant. <br /><br />It's eviction night, so tempers and what have you are up, everyone is stressed, inside and outside of the house. But the people in the studio are too caught up in the night of <b>Big Brother</b> that they entirely ignore the impending Zombie Apocalypse.<br /><br />There is even a monitor that the backstage crew is watching, that has the news, showing what is happening outside in all its gores detail. Yet, the main concern is that <b>'Big Brother</b> might be getting bumped for the news. Oh noes.<br /><br />So, of course, no one knows/cares that there is a herd of zombies headed towards the crowd of <b>Big Brother</b> fans clustered outside the studio. So as the crowd is turned into flesh eating monsters, the zombie army quadruples, and really at that point it doesn't take much work at all for them to blunder, flailing, into the studio.<br /><br />There aren't a lot places to run, hide, or make quick getaways to within that building, so the crew starts to drop like flies.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/9CF05220-EA4F-4263-95E8-9009E71511D4_extra.jpg"></center><br /><br />Kelly, in a feat of admirable Bad-ass-ery, manages to fight her way through the waves upon waves of former friends and coworkers, armed with only a large pair of scissors, until she makes it into the 'Big Brother' house.<br /><br />To more or less set the majority of the case up to not be missed as they start dropping like flies, the housemates are pretty much idiots when Kelly comes stumbling into their house covered in blood and whispering about "the things outside".<br /><br />In a fit of being a complete asshole, the one contestant not only starts to call Kelly, essentially, a dumb bitch, but then goes on to start impersonating the brother from the beginning of <b>'Night of the Living Dead'</b> ; Lurching towards her with his arms out and saying "THEY'RE COMING TO GET YOU BARBRA!"<br /><br />Because in that film, being a complete douchebag and saying that sort of thing ended so well for him. <br /><br />People are dumb. <br /><br />Anyway.<br /><br />After mocking Kelly incessantly, that same douchebag decides to open the door that empties into the studio, letting a zombie into their former safe haven.<br /><br />Smooth move Exlax.<br /><br />I'm sure you can guess that it all goes even <i>further</i> to Hell in a hand basket past that point.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/627361FD-44B5-4F16-9DB3-D601166D6252_extra.jpg"><br /></center><br /><br />One thing that <b>'The Dead Set'</b> tackled pretty well in its storytelling was the look at the human psyche, and what people are willing to do or act like during a crisis.<br /><br />Prime examples come in the form of when the housemates finally realize that Kelly told the truth, as they look out at the flood of zombies behind their wall, and one of them says<br /><br />"Does this mean that we aren't on telly anymore?"<br /><br />Then there's Riq, and struggle to make his way to the studio, and to Kelly. Furthermore is the woman he teams up with along the way, who tells him that he hasn't had to do anything to survive, and how she had to shoot her best friend in the face in order to stay alive.<br /><br />And there's always Kelly's boss, Patrick, who is more than willing to damn all the other survivors if it gives him the remotest chance of getting out of the compound alive. <br /><br />So it could be argued that theme of <b>'The Dead Set'</b>, is that humanity is being destroyed by its own vanity. Which would make sense, given that zombie films have, in the past, often been means of conveying social commentary through the horror medium. And it's not as though there weren't many homages to George A. Romero throughout the mini-series anyway.<br /><br /><i>Unlike</i> the Romero zombie franchise, however, the zombies of <b>The Dead Set</b> seem slightly more akin to those in <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0289043/"><b>28 Days Later</b></a>, in the sense that they can seriously run like hell.<br /><br />While not a huge zombie fan, I take issue with this. In <b>28 Days Later</b> it made sense, because it was more of a virus film than a zombie one, and it was virus that made you essentially rabid. These aren't rabid humans though, these are your run of the mill zombies, and anything that is pretty much hunks of un-refrigerated dead meat should not be impersonating Flo Jo. <br /><br />I mean, because really, they are these rotting, festering things. Shouldn't they be too busy decomposing and taking on the traits of rigor mortis to be doing a 5k jog? I could be wrong, but it just doesn't make sense to me.<br /><br />Also, I was amazed that Britain, which usually shies away from graphic violence, went so all-out with the gore of this thing. Really now, it was the sort of thing I would expect from Eli Roth or Rob Zombie, not my good friends across the pond.<br /><br />There was a scene where a man is ripped apart and eaten, and the whole time he is bellowing at the zombies. And oh yes, the camera shows you <b><i>everything</b></i> in gut-wrenching detail. I was overjoyed. That was sarcasm.<br /><br />So here's the thing kids; I think that if you were a dyed in the wool zombie fanatic, this just might be your cup of tea. If you're squeamish, you should probably just shuffle away as fast as your little legs can carry you.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/9F8A8329-3A70-4C36-AFEA-B5818AD22F94_extra.jpg"></center><br /><br />Okay, so I don't want you to go away from this thinking that <b>The Dead Set</b> is merit-less. There are some definite good things about it.<br /><br />For one, it has absolutely stunning cinematography. Once you get past the gore factor involved here, they framing and coloration of each scene is done in such perfection that the arty film nerd in me wanted to kiss the camera man and the editor of this thing.<br /><br />There are also some <i>EXTREMELY</i> funny moments inside this. Sure, some of them are jokes that you feel like an eight year old boy for laughing at, but they are laughs all the same.<br /><br />And there are a few characters, mainly Kelly and Riq, who you genuinely like and have sympathy for. You really want those kids to make it through the nightmare. And truly, a production is nothing without a hero or heroine that you can get behind.<br /><br />I also have to give props to <b>'The Dead Set'</b> for its realistic non-Disney ending.<br /><br />In closing, let me just say, that <b>'The Dead Set'</b> is only for the zombie enthusiast or those with extremely strong stomachs. If you had to shut your eyes during either <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387564/"><b>Saw</a></b> or <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0450278/"><b>Hostel</b></a>, you'll really want to skip it all together. And if you don't, well, you were warned so don't come crying to me when you upheave your dinner.<br /><br />So that's that I guess my darlings.<br /><br />Until I get around to another of the 45165484798 reviews I'm behind on writing I'll just say:<br /><br />Love and kisses<br /><br /><b>♥<br />Spooky Pie</b><br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/43693D44-EBDF-4097-9353-9BB95F2D9B9B_extra.jpg"></center>Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1354315648889218081.post-4153414844921473452010-11-08T18:33:00.000-08:002010-11-09T01:23:19.041-08:00The Funhouse (1981)<center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/funhouse16.jpg"></center><br /><br />So, a little while back I saw over at <a href="http://finalgirl.blogspot.com/search/label/Final%20Girl%20Film%20Club">The Final Girl Film Club</a> that the new movie to review was Tobe Hooper's <b><u>The Funhouse</b></u>. And I thought "Well, heck, that's in my netflix queue anyway." So, to the top of the queue it went. I will admit that I had more than a little bit of trepidation in watching this one. I know that I am in the horror fan minority here, but I'm really not the biggest fan of Mr. Hooper.<br /><br />With the exception of <u><b>Poltergeist</u></b>, which only sort of counts since it was largely Spielberg's baby, I haven't really liked anything he did. I know, I know, everyone will swear up and down that <u><b>Texas Chainsaw Massacre</u></b> is a milestone in the horror genre, and that it has such iconic scenes associated with it.<br /><br />Sorry guys. I just don't like it. I will be honest, however, and tell you that I pretty much automatically dislike anything that has cannibals associated with it. I can't help it you guys, everybody has their thing, mine is cannibals.<br /><br />But we're getting SO far off topic now. Enough about Tobe Hooper's other productions, we're here to talk about <u><b>The Funhouse</b></u> right now. Which, I'm going to go out on a limb here by saying, is my favorite of Hooper's works. Excluding Poltergeist, but we already covered that.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/funhouse19.jpg"></center> <br /><br /><b><u>The Funhouse</b></u> is essentially a Brother's Grimm-esque coming of age tale, modernized, and hidden under the guise of being a typical slasher film. Like the titular funhouse itself, the film is all about what goes on as far as the surface, and then the gritty things happenings that are hidden beneath that.<br /><br />At first glance, <u><b>The Funhouse</u></b> is almost formulaic. <br /><br />Step 1: Get a group of teenagers together.<br /><br />Step 2: Introduce some sex and drugs into the mix (with the exception of the mandatory virgin)<br /><br />Step 3: Teenagers come upon some sort of danger/madman/hillbillies/undead killing machine<br /><br />Step 4: Said danger will then pick off teenagers one by one<br /><br />Step 5: Token Virgin goes up against the Big Bad, with some sort of blunt instrument.<br /><br />Step 6: The virgin escapes alive, older, wiser, and in need of about thirty some-odd years of intense therapy.<br /><br />Throw in some insane carnies, a weird-ass dark ride (if you don't remember what a dark ride is, shame on you, and <a href="http://thisgirldigshorror.blogspot.com/2010/06/creepiest-thing-1st-addition.html">go back and refresh your memory</a>), tons of jiggling boobs, and you have the outer shell of <u><b>The Funhouse</u></b>'s infrastructure. <br /><br />I'm not saying that escaping terrifying, potentially inbred, carnies is not a key factor to the film. It is. And if you don't really want to have a long think about things and watch the violence, that is potentially enough. However, there is so much more to this film than simply running through plywood sets whilst dodging the Elephantman's ugly cousin.<br /><br />You just have to know where to look.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/funhouse21.jpg"></center><br /><br />To fully understand the heart of the film, you have to understand the film's heroine. Meet Amy Harper.<br /><br />Amy is in that frightening state of her teenager years in which she is uncomfortably sandwiched between her need to "grow up" like her "cool adult friends", and the crippling fear of what dangers will befall her as soon as she shirks the mantle of childhood in exchange for that of a grown woman.<br /><br />As much as she wants to be a woman, so much that goes along with it essentially scares the crap out of her. But our little Amy is willing to put on a brave face and stride forward into the great unknown, despite the urge to puke from sheer terror at any moment.<br /><br />The subtle workings of an after-school special are at work here as well. In the opening, as we see Amy primping for her date, in the background her father tells her how he "doesn't want her going to that damn carnival". Her mother, on the other hand, is busy voicing her disapproval of 'Buzz', the boy who will be taking Amy out.<br /><br />Basically, Amy's parents tell her <b>"SEX WILL KIIIIIILL YOU"</b><br /><br />It was a lot like the Sex Ed bit from <u>Mean Girls</u><br /><br /><center><object width="400" height="250"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/8q1y1JYvMlc?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8q1y1JYvMlc?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="400" height="250"></embed></object></center><br /><br />Amy more or less tells her parents that they are full of it and flounces out of the house in her nifty wedge heels. We can wag our fingers and tell her that she should've listened to her Daddy until the cows come home, but if she did then we really wouldn't have a movie.<br /><br />The aforementioned boy, Buzz, is picking Amy up so they can meet their friends Richie and Liz for a double date at the ominous carnival. I'm not really sure how Buzz fits into this group, because he looks like he's in his late twenties. But whatever. Liz, who I believe is Amy's best friend, is in an established, sexually active relationship with Ritchie. It's fairly evident that Amy not only looks up to Liz, but that Liz's opinion holds a fair amount of sway. I.e. if Liz is doing something, Amy wants to as well.<br /><br />It's obvious how uncomfortable and inexperienced Amy is where sex is concerned. She shrinks away from Buzz when he starts to come on too strong in the car and is fairly rigid when he attempts to charm her while the four teenagers travel through the carnival. However, after a discussion of her virginity and "saving herself" in one of the Carnival's derelict bathrooms with Liz, Amy seems almost <i>determined</i> to loose her virginity. Even though it's not so much that Amy wants to because she genuinely likes this Buzz fellow, but because it's something that would make her more like Liz. <br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/funhouse20.jpg"></center><br /><br />Sex scares Amy, but she's going to give it the old College Try. So she becomes progressively chummier with Buzz, even thought there are numerous moments where you can still see that she is a timid little girl in her facial expressions. Much like the other instances of Amy's susceptibility to peer pressure, when Ritchie makes the <strike>ludicrously moronic</strike> genius suggestion that they spend the night in the funhouse ride, Amy foes along with it. Despite the fact that it's, you know, a really really bad idea.<br /><br />Especially since it becomes apparent that the only reason Ritchie wants them to stay the night in the funhouse is that it seems like freaky place to, well, get your freak on. So to the funhouse they go, and our happy couples are in the process of getting down to the nitty gritty there is a general disturbance from beneath the floorboards. Our merry band groups together and peers through the floor boards where they witness probably the creepiest part of the entire movie.<br /><br />One of the carnies, dressed in a Frankenstein mask is propositioning the less than fresh fortune teller by means of grunting and waving money at her. It's a short lived encounter, as our boy Franky is not exactly a sexual dynamo, but the woman is still planning on keeping the hundred dollars she, pardon the pun, squeezed out of him. This makes hulk mad, and he murders the dumb broad to get back said cash.<br /><br />Further proving to dear, sweet Amy that, oh yeah, SEX KILLS.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/funhouse14.jpg"></center><br /><br />Needless to say, our band of heroes goes from "Hey look! It's Live Freak Porn!!" to "HOLY CRAP! THERE'S A KILLER TROLL ON THE LOOSE!". Except with way less panic then that, because they only make a fairly half-assed attempt at escape, despite having just witnessed a murder and knowing that there is just no way that this is going to end well.<br /><br />So after some unenthusiastic shuffling around wiggling door handles, they decide that the best plan of action is to go back to the scene of the crime and sit on their asses doing nothing. Because that is OBVIOUSLY the best decision. After some time Frankenstein boy comes back with his angry hillbilly daddy in tow.<br /><br />His daddy is pretty "hey man whatever" about the fact that his satanic offspring has offed a woman until he realizes who she is. And then he goes a bit apeshit because she's a fellow carnie. If she'd just been a local girl then, you know, who cares. But since she's part of the freakshow THIS IS WAY BAD LIKE WHOA.<br /><br />Ritchie, being the fine specimen of humanity that he is, of course, manages to give the chillun's location away. Because he's awesome, and so, of course Hillbilly and son know that the only way to handle this situation is to eliminate all witnesses. Which, of course, leads to our intrepid heroes flailing around the freakish insides of the ride whilst being chased, and picked off by some of the most bizarre characters to grace the slasher genre.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/funhouse13.jpg"></center><br /><br />But here's where <u><b>The Funhouse</b></u> deviates from the general slasher film. Because Amy manages to not be our general slasher film heroine.<br /><br />Generally speaking, the Final Girl of any horror film's general arc is that she makes the progression from the victim to the empowered hero. Notice I used the term <i>hero</i> and not <i>heroine</i>. That is because, as nearly any text book on horror will tell you, the Final Girl's genesis has a tendency to stem from her taking on more masculine traits and leaving behind being a scared little girl. That is not the case in what happens with Amy. And that is a big part of why I don't consider Amy in the usual class of Final Girl.<br /><br />If you will recall, at the very beginning of this entry I said that I viewed <u><b>The Funhouse</u></b> as <i>"essentially a Brother's Grimm-esque coming of age tale"</i>. This is largely because Amy is more of a Grimm's Fairytale Heroine then a Final Girl.<br /><br />For my money, Amy is an almost perfect parallel to Snow White.<br /><br />She is essentially innocent, and despite the frequent opportunities that arise to sully her innocence, she escapes the tale with it intact. And like Snow White, the temptations to corrupt Amy's innocence are also potential threats to her life just as much as to her vulnerability. <br /><br />In the original tale of Snow White, the Queen tempts her with more than just the apple. First there is a corset - meant to give her an adult womanly figure- or suffocate her, as it turns out. Then the poisoned comb to make her look pretty an appealing to the opposite sex. Things that are supposed to make Snow White appear as an adult woman, further more, Snow White is being <i>pressured</i> to appear as such. These trials we can almost think of as being embodied by Liz and Ritchie, Amy's pressures to lose her innocence.<br /><br />Whereas, the poison apple can be the analogy for Amy's pressure to lose her virginity to Buzz - and in a more biblical sense, to the apple of knowledge that Eve ate - to gain the knowledge of adulthood.<br /><br />Also, like Snow White, Amy must deal with the abandonment of her parents in the face of grave danger. After Snow White's mother dies, for the rest of the tail her father pretty much checks out, and no point even <i>tries</i> to help his daughter. And in one scene in <u><b>The Funhouse</b></u>, Amy's parents actually arrive at the Carnival to collect her younger brother. Amy sees them through a fan vent in the side of the funhouse and calls out to her parents. While her little brother appears to see her, the adults don't even glance in her direction. Like Snow White, Amy is on her own, no adult is going to help her.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/funhouse10.jpg"></center><br /><br />Like is the case in most Grimm fairy tales, Snow White is not self rescuing. She does not take up a sword, march on the castle, and have a showdown with her Wicked Stepmother to reclaim her rightful thrown. In turn, Amy does not have the usual Final Girl moment of heroism, where she finds a large blunt object and stamps determinedly towards the villain to bash his brains in and save the day.<br /><br />In this respect, Amy is not only like Snow White, but, honestly, like many of us would really act thrown into this situation. Your first instinct is not always to go into "Badass" mode. Most of use would behave just like Amy. We would run into the night, screaming like a banshee. Furthermore Amy doesn't, <i>really</i> defeat the villain, it's more dumb luck than anything else that saves Amy. Which, really, is more relate-able. That's normal, that's <i>human</i><br /><br />And while further delving into the symbolism that we can link to Snow White, Amy's suitor, Buzz, can almost be cast as the role of the Huntsmen. Buzz is, initially, a danger to Amy, he is older and more mature than her. Further linking the theme of sex and death, The Huntsmen initial role is to kill Snow White, and initially Buzz's role is to defile Amy.<br /><br />Neither of these men perform their initial function. The Huntsmen cannot kill Snow White, and Buzz does not taint Amy's innocence. Both, however, essentially put their necks on the chopping block so that the innocent girl is given a chance to escape her would-be killer. Buzz takes on the Hillbilly brigade single-handedly so that Amy can make a break for it, in a scene that is almost direct remake of the forest scene in Disney's <b><u>Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs</b></u><br /><br /><center><object width="400" height="325"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/pCCaSz1bxfY?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/pCCaSz1bxfY?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="400" height="325"></embed></object></center><br /><br />The biggest difference, for Amy, is that at the end of this tale there is no prince to rescue her. There is no glass casket, or seven dwarfs. However, whereas in Snow White, her death-like sleep and awakening is the symbolism of her coming into herself as an adult, Amy's voyage through the funhouse can be scene as such.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/funhouse4.jpg"></center><br /><br />Also unlike Snow White, there is no Happily Ever After storybook ending for Amy. Nor riding off on a white horse into the sunset. Amy's "happy ending" is that she gets to limp out into harsh light of the morning after, clothes torn, and on the verge of nervous collapse.<br /><br />But not everybody can get that Disney ending right?<br /><br />Right.<br /><br />So, fairy tale allegories aside, <b><u>The Funhouse</u></b> is not perfect, though enjoyable. The special effects makeup is a little wanting, our lead villain is ... interesting looking, but by no means something realistic. Also on the subject of the villain, you don't really understand enough about him to feel anything towards him, empathy or otherwise, and to have a truly good villain, you have to actually <i>like</i> them a little bit.<br /><br />There are points in which the characters actions make less than no sense, but that's a common trait in slasher. As is the fact that they really are not all that fleshed out. But still, I like to care a little bit about someone, you know, so I can be at least a little disappointed when they kick the bucket. I like to root for people even when I know that they're going to drop like flies.<br /><br />On the other hand, Tobe Hooper artistically outdid himself in this one. It's beautiful to look at. The colors are rich, and there are some scenes that are shot so well it is almost jaw-dropping. So, really Mister Hooper, good job there. I may be alone in this, but I feel like <u><b>The Funhouse</b></u> kicks <b><u>Texas Chainsaw Massacre</u></b>'s ass and takes its lunch money.<br /><br />So that's what I got babies, even if you don't want to sit down and look at the film in an academic sense, it's good to just look at. Basically, it's a decent night in.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/funhouse1.jpg"></center>Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1354315648889218081.post-44143750165944573842010-10-30T04:17:00.000-07:002010-11-09T01:24:11.657-08:00John Dies at the End (novel) -2001/2007/2009<center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/newcover.jpg"></center><br /><br />Okay, I admit that I put this review off for awhile, but that's mainly because I was having trouble putting into words the sheer, overwhelming, adoration that I have for this novel.<br /><br />Also, this is probably the weirdest book I have ever read ... ever. Period. And that's saying something, because I read some pretty weird shit, believe you me. I mean, Chuck Palahniuk is one of my favorite authors, and I think he would find this book strange.<br /><br />So also, I had no idea how I was going to describe it to y'all, because I got the feeling it would be a lot like when you witness something strange and hilarious, and then you are later trying to tell your friends about it, and they're all looking at you like "Shit son, you've gone completely sideways."<br />So you end up huffily telling them "Well, I guess you HAD to BE there."<br /><br />It's kind of like that. Although I suppose in this case it's more of a "you had to READ it"... or something... anyway, I'll give the obligatory summary a shot. But I make no promises that you aren't going to read it and think I've lost my fool head.<br /><br />Okay Dears,Darlings, and fellow Spooky Dos, basically, the story of this charming little book is about two guys, David and John. These are not their real names. If they used their real names then they could be tracked down. Also the town where the whole story takes place is referred to as [Undisclosed] because we couldn't let you know about that either.<br /><br />Dave and John are a couple of college drop-outs in un-fulfilling minimum wage jobs in an extremely boring town. But after a seeming normal concert by John's band "Three arm Sally", wherein David encounters a drug peddling fake Jamaican thing get kind of loopey. <br /><br />The drug in question is referred to as "soy sauce", due to it being roughly the constancy of. When you take it you can apparently see into the future, and around sound waves, and just generally know shit you shouldn't. But people who take it have a tendency to explode, and it also seems that the soy sauce has to do with a strange group of "shadow-like" beings that are trying to overthrow humanity.<br /><br />Mixed into this story for good measure are helpings of demonic possession, floating dogs, paranormal conventions in Las Vegas, and some unpleasantness involving bratwurst.<br /><br />The whole thing is narrated by David, as he meets with a reporter who is going to "tell his story". And honestly, it's a GREAT voice that the story is told in , like really, I feel sort of hosed that this is the only book this man has put out.<br /><br />The novel itself is the most scrumptious blend of hilarity, creepiness, and "Oh my God what the HELL just happened" that I wanted to start reading it again as soon as it was done.<br /><br />Y'all don't even know. I finished the book and pretty much did this for like an hour:<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/catomg.gif"></center><br /><br />Seriously, seriously, weirdest thing I ever read. One second I was snorting with laughter (how sexy is that?) and the next I was literally getting the chills. <br /><br />IT WAS AWESOME.<br /><br />On top of which, this little, well, maybe not really so little, book is one of the most amazing "Little Engine that Could" type things around.<br /><br />I mean, it started out a web-serial over at <a href="Http://www.johndiesattheend.com">Johndiesattheend.com</a> , which a few years later got turned into a book. The book did not sell, like, at all, but this story developed such an avid cult following that fan outcry finally got in re-released in brand-spanking-new paperback form in 2009.<br /><br />I for one was overjoyed, I came into knowledge of this book in-between the first an second printings. I don't even remember how, but I somehow ended up at the author's website, reading all the absolutely AMAZING madness on <a href="Http://www.johndiesattheend.com">johndiesattheend.com</a>, and when I saw that there was a BOOK I absolutely *HAD* to read it. Except, you know, at that point it was no longer in print.<br /><br />The author talked about how there was a good chance it was getting re-released. But it hadn't happened yet, and the first edition copies were selling on Amazon for around $100. I'm not kidding. I'm also not kidding when I say that I was seriously considering paying that for it.<br /><br />But then one day in the not too distant past I was driving my roommate to the airport. She had a pretty long wait there and hadn't remembered to bring a book. Being the combination of caring roommate and freakish bookworm that I am, a produced the book that I kept in my purse, that I hadn't even gotten a chance to read yet, and let her borrow it. I think found myself not too long afterwords on my university campus before class with suddenly NOTHING TO READ. Which, by the way, NEVER happens to me.<br /><br />So I wandered into the campus bookstore (which actually has a stupidly good selection of books), and there, on a table of new releases, was <u>John dies at the End</u>. The clouds parted, angels sang, I was nearly weeping as I handed my money over to the cashier, and not just because books really cost way more than they should. Especially when you buy as many as I do.<br /><br />It was love, you don't even know. It's not a short book, seriously, it's about the size of the bible. I was done with it in under a week. Complete and utter madness, I tell you what.<br /><br />And then about a week or so ago, <a href="http://www.aintitcool.com/node/47146">I found this</a>.<br /><br />Filming has officially begun on the movie adaptation of <b>John dies at the End</b>. And it's being directed by none other than Don Coscarelli. Who, by the way, was the director of the <b>Phantasm</b> franchise, in case you didn't know.<br />And <a href="http://thisgirldigshorror.blogspot.com/2010/06/phantasm-1979.html">this girl sure does love her some Phantasm</a>.<br />Sure, I would be a little more jazzed if Sam Raimi or Edgar Wright had gotten the rites to it, because in my book, they are the KINGS of Horror Comedies. But let's face it, it's probably going to be totally awesome.<br /><br />I know that this girl, at least, will be following the film's progress with damn-near rabidness. And you had better believe that she will also be at the first showing she can't get herself to as soon as its released.<br /><br />Now, my darlings, go read it, like ten hours ago.Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1354315648889218081.post-48336967153262543042010-10-15T22:30:00.000-07:002010-11-09T01:24:43.073-08:00Parasomnia (2008)<center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/p23.jpg"></center><br /><br />Okay Parasomnia, I don't know if it's that I set my sights to high with you or what. But Son, your father and I are very disappointed in your behavior. I mean, really now, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCiXE7eZI44">your trailer looked so FREAKING AWESOME</a>. I guess I really should have known better, it was, after all, it is a William Malone movie. And, while I will admit to a very guilty love of Fear Dot Com, he also did the extremely shameful House on Haunted Hill remake. <br /><br />Alas! Alack!<br /><br />Apparently, my relationship with William Malone's films, is very similar to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8yuvMsvNqY">Lewis Black's relationship with Candy Corn</a>. Every single time I go "Oh boy! This film is going to rock!.... SON OF A BITCH!". <br /><br />I have no one to blame but myself. Curses. I don't want to blame me, so I'll blame Bono.<br /><br />Okay, wow, really short attention span, I got COMPLETELY off topic there. So Let's look at the meat and bones of the plot here before I get heavily into the opinion part. <br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/p22.jpg"></center><br /><br />Our little tale starts out with Danny. <br /><br />Danny is a sad sad boy who has just been dumped by his girlfriend. Who didn't <i>just</i> dump him, but also threw out his couch while he was at work.<br /><br />Danny "works" in a record store, and I use the word "work" very loosely here, as all he seems to do is stand around talking about obscure 1960's Brit-Pop with a fellow co-worker.<br /><br />When Danny isn't "working", or lamenting the loss of his living room furniture, he likes to visit his friend the crackhead at the local mental research facility. Whilst visiting his friendly neighborhood speed freak, Danny discovers that just down the Hall is a psychopathic serial killer named Byron Volpe. Volpe is in a single cell room tethered to the walls, with a bag over his head.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/p19.jpg"></center><br /><br />Apparently eye contact alone can make you fall under Volpe's influence. He has supposedly convinced his girlfriend/wife/trained monkey to jump off a building and the judge at this first court appearance to park on railroad tracks.<br /><br />The Doctors and our friend the crack head all spend a good amount of effort telling Danny DOOOOOOOOOON'T LOOOOK IIIIIIIIIIIIIN TO HIS EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYES! All he has to do is look at you and you apparently become a gibbering idiot completely under his sway.<br /><br />As far as I can understand it, Volpe is, essentially, Hypnotoad.<br /><br /><center><object width="400" height="250"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/enmCjZEQcNI?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/enmCjZEQcNI?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="400" height="250"></embed></object></center><br /><br /><center><i>Let's compare shall we?</i></center><br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/p3.jpg"></center><br /><br />But more on <strike>Hypnotoad</strike> Volpe later, We've more pressing matters to discuss. I suppose, like, you know, the rest of the "plot".<br /><br />Whilst young Danny is staring at the freak show on display in Volpe's room, he notices the room next door and its catatonic occupant. And, like any man whose lost his girlfriend and his living room set in 24 hours, he naturally decides that this girl is the woman for him. Apparently, they met once when they were little kids for about five minutes, and that's all the introduction he needs ... weirdo.<br /><br />The attending physician comes in and explains that this is Laura and she suffers from a medical condition known as Parasomnia or "Sleeping Beauty Syndrome". (The science of this part is completely off, but I'll get into that later.) Laura's condition causes her to spend more time asleep than awake, waking up for intervals of anything from two minutes to half an hour before conking back out for another week or so.<br /><br />So far this doesn't seem so bad to me. Sleeping 80% of your life is somewhat ideal as far as I'm concerned, for the most part dreams are way better than reality.<br /><br />However, once we are shown what Laura's dreams look like, well, I think it would be time to start loving mass quantities of caffeine, because the inside of this girl's head is downright unpleasant. <br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/p24.jpg"></center><br /><br />But everybody loves a sleeping broad, so Danny diligently visits her <b>all-the-time</b>, until one day when he learns that she is going to moved to a different facility so her condition can be studied by a doctor who specializes in sleep disorders. Although, apparently, he kind of sucks, since he's been involved in quite a few malpractice suits and a couple of his patients have gone belly up under the watch of the good doctor.<br /><br />In Danny-land this is UNACCEPTABLE LIKE WHOA and he devises a "cunning", and by cunning I mean overused and kind of crap, plan to "spring her out", by which I mean kidnap her.<br /><br />Because, you know, nothing says successful relationship quite like Stockholm Syndrome.<br /><br />Once he gets her home it quickly becomes apparent that the amount of time she has spent asleep and not interacting with the waking world has given her basically the mentality of a seven year old. And so Danny does a lot of bathing her while she's unconscious and feeding her, and what have you.... which is, you know, not weird, or creepy, or anything. (I won't lie, this was probably the aspect of the movie that gave me the heebie jeebies more than anything else).<br /><br />But moving right along... it turns out that Danny was not the only person who was freakishly obsessed with Laura. Our good friend Volpe apparently digs catatonic women as well.<br /><br />Despite the fact this girl is virtually never awake, Volpe seems to feel that they have a deep personal connection. Whatever dude.<br /><br />Apparently Volpe has found away inside Laura's head and her dreams, so on the subconscious plain he has more interactions with her than anyone. On account of this, he also has a fair amount of control over Laura - to the extent that he can get her to carry out his murdering sprees for him while he's still in the clink.<br /><br />Naturally, Volpe manages to escape and all Hell breaks loose, and him and Danny have to have a big testosterone filled showdown over who gets to have Narcolepsy girl.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/p5.jpg"></center><br /><br />Okay, so the plot, pretty damn minimal.<br /><br />It's like; "Let's take Sleeping Beauty and The Phantom of the Opera and mash them together which a bunch of faulty science and people who can't act their way out of a paper sack."<br /><br />Patrick Kilpatrick (wow, what a name), who plays Volpe, plays his role competently. However, our good friend Danny, played by Dylan Purcell, could easily have been replaced with a plank of wood that had a face drawn on it and we would have gotten a pretty similar result.<br /><br />I don't feel that I can really analyze Cherilyn Wilson's performance, considering she spends the whole movie either lying around asleep or running around yelling "DANNY!" at the top of her lungs.<br /><br />For all I know given a different role she might be a superb actress, or she could be better off in roles with virtually no lines. Who knows? Not me. <br /><br />Acting aside, here's the part where I rip the movie open and poke at its insides, in order to tell you what did and didn't work.<br /><br />I have mentioned the incorrect science/psychology of the movie multiple times, so that probably would be a good place for us to start.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/p13.jpg"></center><br /><br />First and foremost, there is no singular condition known as "parasomnia". Parasomnia is a classification for a fairly diverse group of sleep disorders; somnambulism, night terrors, teeth grinding, confusion arousals, and restless leg syndrome. Not a singular condition that entails that the patient spends more time asleep than awake. <br /><br />And parasomnias are in no way connected to "Sleeping Beauty syndrome", which, while a legitimate condition, is also unrelated to what Laura suffers from in the film.<br /><br />In truth, Sleeping Beauty Syndrome, or Kleine-Levin syndrome, is more about being excessively lethargic and hallucinating.<br /><br />So, as someone who knows at least a little bit about abnormal psychology, I was pretty confused as to why Malone felt the need to essentially name drop existing conditions, but then completely fabricate the science behind them. At the point it would have made more sense to just invent a condition all together, because anyone who knows anything about these things will immediatly start going:<br /><br />"AAAH! AHH! YOU'RE WRONG! THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!" while pointing animatedly at their Television set.<br /><br />It's a pet peeve of mine, I know a lot people would probably be able to watch without knowing or caring that the science is made up. I know, I should be able to just suspend disbelief or something while I'm watching this movie. But, Goddamit, if you're going to try and pull semblances of reality into this fantasy AT LEAST DO SOME FREAKING FACT CHECKING OKAY???<br /><br />Wow... sorry about that... where was I? <br /><br />Oh yeah...<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/922.jpg"></center><br /><br />Danny and Laura's relationship. <br /><br />It's creepy.<br /><br />I mean creepy LIKE WHOA. Danny knows nothing about Laura when he shanghais her, other than that she's 'real purdy', and due to being asleep all the time, probably won't be able to throw his living room furniture out the window.<br /><br />But after he saves/kidnaps her, and actually has something resembling a conversation with her, it's pretty obvious that she's basically a little kid in a fully developed woman's body. Even if her outsides are all grown-up THIS IS JUST PLAIN WRONG.<br /><br />Sure, Volpe has a thing for her too... but he's a psychopath, so I don't really question his motives. Danny, however, is supposed to be our lovable hero with a heart of gold. But essentially, this whole thing makes him look like a pedophile.<br /><br />The only scenes in the whole film that legitimately gave me the willies were once based around Danny and Laura's interactions. In one he takes her out for ice cream, she's never had ice cream in her life and has no idea how to eat it.<br /><br />After it falls off the cone she proceeds to eat it with her hands, getting ice cream all over her face. Danny, without any semblance of humor, tells her how he just finished getting her cleaned up and GOD now he's going to have to bathe her again. While Laura spends a lot of the movie not seeming to know what is happening around her, at that point even SHE is looking at Danny like "Ew... there is something wrong with you."<br /><br />In another scene Danny comes home from work to find Laura dressed in a cheerleader outfit. She's happy to see him and does one of those "give me (insert letter of choice here)" cheer. But, like I mentioned before, she's pretty much a kid, so it's just a mess of letters with no correlation to each other. She tells him that it spells "home", however, and rushes to hug him to show him how glad she is that he is back. Danny, on the other hand, just snaps at her that it "doesn't spell anything".<br /><br />Generally, he treats her like a moron. He's like a more judging, whiny, version of Humbert Humbert, from Vladimir Nabokov's <u>Lolita</u>. But we're supposed to like him, he's supposed to be the knight in shining armor with a moral compass that always points to north. In truth, I found him creepier than Volpe.<br /><br />So, that alone, made it a little difficult, at points, to watch this movie.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/p7.jpg"></center><br /><br />I am not going to tell you that there is absolutely no reason to watch this film. Or that it had no merits whatsoever. Because the only redeeming quality in this movie, is exactly the one that makes me keep, like an Alzheimer patient, watching William Malone's films.<br /><br />Visually it is <b>ABSOLUTELY STUNNING</b>.<br /><br />Parasomnia is much like most modern pop music. Ignore the words and just enjoy the catchy beat, and you will probably like it. That's pretty much the case here.<br /><br />While the plot and the script are really quite wanting, I think that if you watched Parasomnia on mute, with some Chopin or something on in the background, it would be a fairly enjoyable experience.<br /><br />I know that modern horror movies have gotten a certain amount of flack for their tendency to saturate shots with colors in order to enhance mood. I think that's just stupid, color saturation can turn a ho-hum shot into something mysterious if done right. And in Parasomnia, it was done COMPLETELY RIGHT.<br /><br />The touches of blue permeating throughout the film give it not only a moody, but utterly surreal visual quality. It makes the film look like you are observing a dream that someone else is having. It's gorgeous, it's one of Malone's tricks that, for me, saved his earlier film Fear dot com.<br /><br />Furthermore, the dreamscapes inside Laura's head are basically amazing. They're like if you took <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0366780/">MirrorMask</a> and <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091369/">The Labyrinth</a>, mooshed them together, and then ran them through the filter of Gore Verbinski's interpretation of <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0298130/">The Ring</a> (which, in my opinion, was one of the only somewhat successful US remakes of a foreign horror film).<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/p2.jpg"></center><br /><br />I feel pretty confident in my feeling that had the whole movie had the look and feel of the last fifteen minutes, I would probably have loved it. Seriously you guys, its beautiful.<br /><br />The problem is, the last fifteen minutes or so, are basically a completely different movie. It goes from being a character study of Danny and his interactions with Laura to being a portrait of Volpe and the inner workings of his brain, and how he translates these things into visual representations via art and music.<br /><br />It truly would have been better on all grounds, including more interesting, if Volpe had been the center focus for the whole film, instead of a fringe character only brought in a few times to move along the plot - until the end.<br /><br />Dears, Darlings, Spooky Do's .... I just don't know what to tell you kids. On the one hand I want to tell you to run as far and as fast from this movie as you can, because it is going to be 103 minutes of your life that you will NEVER GET BACK.<br /><br />On the other hand, some of the visuals almost make up for that...<br /><br />I don't know guys. I just don't know.<br /><br />Parasomnia's flaws far outweigh its strengths ... but in the end its up to you to do the right thing, you know, like Smokey the bear would tell you... or something.<br /><br />But if you do watch it, and you hate it, this girl will give you no sympathy. No, no my dear, all you will get is a disapproving look and a wag of the finger.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/p11.jpg"></center>Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1354315648889218081.post-55907309634209652462010-09-12T19:08:00.000-07:002010-11-09T01:26:02.575-08:00Trick R Treat (2007/2009)<center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/Trick-r-treat-trick-r-treat-9239733-500-333.jpg"></center><br /><br />Oh <b>Trick R Treat</b>, you have filled me with such glee that this girl just doesn't know what to do with her self. See, Dears, Darlings, and Fellow Spooky-Dos, Halloween is just around the corner. The air is starting to cool in anticipation of Autumn, and the approaching holiday has almost constantly been on my mind. Whether its been on account of Target getting in its lovely ladies Halloween shirts, or because I've been diligently planning my costume I am in a constant state of anticipation these days.<br /><br />And let me tell you, this movie was really the best way to kick off the most wonderful time of year that I could possibly ask for.<br /><br />Which of course, thrills me to no end, especially since I had been looking forward to this film for quite sometime. But first its 2007 theatrical release got pushed back, and then it got further debunked in 2009 as a direct to DVD that I only recently managed to get my hands on. Trust me my lovelies, I have been kicking myself for not going to the screening of it at Comic Con a couple years back a LOT.<br /><br />You would think with that level of anticipation that this film would fall flat, because, let's be fair, what ever <i>truly</i> lives up to the hype that we assign something in our minds? With the exception of the Dairy Queen Pumpkin Pie blizzard and Disneyland's seasonal "Nightmare before Christmas" revamp of the Haunted mansion, pretty much nothing ever does.<br /><br />But I have a third thing to add to that list now kids, and that is <b>Trick R Treat</b>.<br /><br />But I'm getting ahead of myself, before I just completely lose myself in babbling about how much I loved this movie I should give you a bit of an idea about what its about.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/Trick-r-treat-trick-r-treat-9239748-600-400.jpg"></center><br /><br />This movie had me hooked from the get-go, the <b><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Hv8cY6_HDE">title sequence</a></b> is one of the most awesome I have seen in a movie in years. Seriously if it doesn't make you bounce in your seat with excitement than.... well, you just have no love of the world. I mean for Goddsake, its presented in comic format, introducing you briefly to the charecters you will meet, the rules of Halloween, and generally sets you up for the lore of the film exquisitely.<br /><br />What follows is four different stories that are interwoven into one all encompassing ones. I've seen this done in movies before, and usually it requires that the movie be broken into chapters, with titles announcing the name of each of these chapters. <b>Trick R Treat</b>, however, overlaps and blends all of them in such an intricate and seamless fashion that I am absolutely dumbfounded that this work of art was Michael Dougherty's directorial debut, because he handles it better than many veterans. <br /><br />At the center of these stories is the character "Sam", cleverly named after Samhain, or the Pagan Halloween celebration. He appears in each tale and is the embodiment not only of the holiday, but of the danger and fear associated with it, that lead to many of the practices we still use today. The use of Jack 'o lanterns, the dressing in costumes, etc. He's also adorable, in a really, weird, disquieting way. And not just because he reminds me a bit of a demented Sack Person from <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Big_Planet">Little Big Planet</a>.<br /><br />The first of the stories that we are introduced to, revolves around Principal Steven Wilkins (played by Dylan Baker of <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0457572/">Fido</a> and <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0382077/">Hide and Seek</a>) who plays a thoroughly disgruntled man who firmly believes in upholding the age-old traditions of Halloween, as well as a few dark ones of his own. Although, like most of the characters, he makes appearances in the other stories as well. He's throughly creepy, but in a fun way, because he's also intensely awkward and neurotic, and there was one instance in the movie I had a definite "YEAH! ALL RIGHT!" moment for him.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/Trick-r-treat-trick-r-treat-9239999-500-334.jpg"></center><br /><br />Next we're introduced to a group of trick or treaters, headed by Macy (Britt McKillip, who I know and love as Reggie Lass in <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_Like_Me">Dead like me</a>). They are gathering Jack 'O Lanterns in a grocery cart en route to a rock quarry. Along the way they stop at the house of Rhonda, who Macy introduces as "The Idiot Savant". I warmed immediately to Rhonda; she's completely awkward, obsessed with Halloween, artistic, oh, and she made her cute little Witch costume herself. <br /><br />I won't lie, I saw a little bit of a Young Spooky Pie in her, and felt instantly protective. We then learn that the pumpkins have been gathered as an "offering to the dead". Macy relays the tale of how a group of children were killed when a bus crashed into the lake nestled in ravine. And then tells the other children that that are going down to place the pumpkins at the water's edge, one for each child who was killed in the accident. As to be expected, this is when things go wrong.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/Trick-r-treat-trick-r-treat-9239987-500-334.jpg"></center><br /><br />Our next tale introduces us to Laurie (a nod, perhaps, to another great heroine of this holiday?), who, by the way, is played by Anna Paquin. Which, I won't lie, was one of the driving forces to see this film to begin with. I'll let you in on a secret my lovelies, but I do have the teeniest bit of a girl crush on Miss Paquin, largely because of her portrayal of <b>True Blood's</b> Sookie Stackhouse. <br /><br />Anyway.<br /><br />Laurie is out with her sister and friends, who are all dressed as over-sexed version of fairy tale characters. With the exception of Laurie, who appears practically demure in her Red Riding Hood costume, WHICH I WANT, by the way. There is, apparently, a tradition every year with these girls. They all go out to a big bonfire party in the woods, and each one has to find herself a date to bring to said party. <br /><br />The other girls tease Laurie about her sexual innocence, her sister claiming that she has "22 year old virgin" carved on her forehead. Laurie is further ostracized as the other girls find boys and pair off with relative ease. They leave Laurie to fend for herself, and head off to the party with their respective dates with a patronizing pat on her cheek and an instruction to come meet them once she finds a man.<br /><br />After she is abandoned, Laurie is left wandering through the woods on her own, directly paralleling the Fairy Tale she is dressed as. With the viewer just waiting for the inevitable Big Bad Wolf to spring at her from the shadows.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/Trick-r-treat-trick-r-treat-9239740-450-300.jpg"></center><br /><br />The last of the stories tells the tale of a grumpy old shut in, called Mr. Kreeg. He hates Halloween, he has his TV and his dog, the rest of the world can go to Hell for all he cares. He is also, quite cleverly, the neighbor of Principal Wilkins, and we see him briefly in the first story, bellowing through the fence at the slightly weaselly Principal.<br /><br />Okay, okay, I felt a little biased going into this tale. I automatically love grouchy old men; especially when they have a small dog and watch the television with a rifle. They remind me of my own, dear, Grandpappy Pie. And Spooky loves her Grandpappy.<br /><br />Sorry, got a bit side-tracked there, I'd tell you that it won't happen again but I respect you too much to lie to you like that.<br /><br />Anyway, the other key player in this last tale of woe is dear little Sam, the sack boy who could. He is, apparently, intent on punishing Mr. Kreeg for his unwillingness to give Halloween the respect it deserves. To be fair, when Principal Wilkins wished him a Happy Halloween earlier in the film, Kreeg responded with "SCREW YOU" (and with that, he won my heart). This little story further establishes Sam as the spirit of Halloween, or at least the one responsible for enforcing the rules of Halloween.<br /><br />Through that, and the rather poetic concluding scene we are re-affirmed with the fear that we all grew up with. On one hand, Halloween is the exciting, fun time of year when we all get to dress up and be given heaping bagfuls of diabetes. On the other hand, as a child, you always could feel that there was something just a bit dark lurking around corners, the sort of thing that could only be possible on that one night of the year.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/Trick-r-treat-trick-r-treat-9239738-800-500.jpg"></center><br /><br />And that leads us to one of the major reasons I have fallen so head over heels in love with <b>Trick R Treat</b>. It so perfectly encompasses the feeling of Halloween I had as a child, a feeling that you don't quite get any more as an adult. When you lose some of the fear associated with the holiday, you lose some of the fun too. So <b>Trick R Treat</b> reminding you that the fire in the Jack 'O Lantern will keep you safe so long as it stays lit, and that you wear the costumes to blend in with the spirits who they won't get you, even to check your candy for razor blades; well, it just filled me with nostalgia.<br /><br />The storytelling is largely responsible for this, the conversations and people seem real. When they have conversations you don't sit there saying "What? Nobody talks like that!". And while you don't like all the characters, and you aren't supposed to, you find at least a few that you latch onto and care about. Much like the title sequence set you up for, it reads like a comic. Which is AWESOME.<br /><br />Now, I've talked about the storytelling and the general feeling, so I feel it only fair to now talk about the final element that made this movie so wonderful. The Cinematography is utterly breath taking. Putting aside that this is a horror film, it is absolutely beautiful to look at. The color pallet, the editing, the subtle way certain shots are framed. My goodness, it damn near gave me the vapors.<br /><br />So, Essentially, if the holiday were a film, it would, hands down, be <b>Trick R Treat</b>; fun and creepy, with an undercurrent of candy-like sweetness to pull it all together. If you want to watch something to get you in the mood for some good old Halloweening, <b>Trick R Treat</b> is the cure for what ails you kiddies.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/Trick-r-treat-trick-r-treat-9239757-500-334.jpg"></center>Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1354315648889218081.post-78462889919244594582010-09-07T21:35:00.000-07:002010-09-08T02:27:09.782-07:00[Rec] (2007)<center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/rec_ban3.jpg"></center><br /><br />Well y'all, this girl actually has a bit of time before her in which she is going to be watching TONS of horror movies. In fact,as soon as I am done writing this here review I'm gonna go watch another one! Wooooooo!<br /><br />Yes darlings, that's what this girl does when she has the apartment to herself for a week. She doesn't throw parties, or rearrange furniture, she sits in her arm chair and does her damnedest to overdose on horror films. So how happy was lil 'ol me when I turned on the TV and FearNet on demand was running <b>[Rec]</b>, which I've been <i>meaning</i> to watch, but other things kept demanding to be at the top of my netflix queue, and you know how that is.<br /><br />How exciting! And you know what, I wasn't disappointed. And that's kind of rare for me. That's not to say that <b>[Rec]</b> is perfect,because it isn't, but for what it is, it's quite good. And is furthering my opinion that these days Spain is churning out some pretty amazing horror. <br /><br />So here's the basic rundown of what <b>[Rec]</b> is about:<br /><br />The film opens with no sort of credits, no title card telling you that what you are about to experience is <b>100% REAL YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW</b>, it starts like it would if you were watching lost footage. Young, adorable reporter Angela Vidal, is doing a piece for her show <b><i>"While you're asleep"</i></b>. She is covering the job of local Firefighters, shadowing the firefighters on one of their "typical nights".<br /><br />The beginning is actually really cute. Angela is sweet and flirtatious with the Firefighters, who seem more than happy to have her around, letting her try on their hats and showing her around the firehouse. I won't lie, two minutes into the movie and I already liked Angela and was secretly routing for her to take the coveted title of <b><i>'Final Girl'</b></i>, but that is neither here nor there. <br /><br />For awhile there's a lot of Angela swinging her arms and telling the cameraman, Pablo, how nothing is happening and how she is getting bored. But then, oh joy of joys, the Firehouse alarm goes off, and the boys are called out. A resident is apparently trapped in their apartment, and of course, firemen Alex and Manu are more than happy to let Angela and Pablo ride along with them.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/rec-2.jpg"></center><br /><br />Once they arrive at the apartment they are greeted by a group of police and a lobby full of nervous apartment occupants. Apparently, the resident in question is an old woman who lives upstairs, no one has been able to get into the apartment; but they sure heard an awful lot of bangin' and screamin' up there. Manu assures the nervous tenants that everything will be fine, they have tools, they'll have the apartment open in a jiffy.<br /><br />So, up the stairs they go, the firefighters, a couple of sanctimonious police officers whose names I can't remember because they were kind of douchebags, and Angela and her cameraman. Once the door to the apartment is cracked and our intrepid heroes venture inside, it is obvious to even the bluntest tool in the shed that there is something gravely amiss here. The old woman is standing in a corner soaked in blood and looking crazy as a shit house rat. Apparently, this isn't concerning anyone though, and the authority figures of the group schlep on over to Granny Batshit with lot's of "hey, everything's fine. You're fine, I'm fine, the suns out, ain't life dandy"? speak.<br /><br />To the surprise of <b><i>NO ONE</b></i>, the crazy bitch launches at one of the policeman; because her stomach was making the rumblies that only human throats would satisfy. The firefighters manage to wrestle the <strike>lunch meat</strike> man away from the old woman and more or less subdue her. Manu instructs Alex to stay up here with the woman and not let her do any more crazy shit, whilst he and the other, more sanctimonious police officer, drag the shrieking, blood squirting man down to the lobby.<br /><br />This does nothing to help the level of hysteria amongst the residents. Because, let's be fair, nothing ruins a decent night like a bleeding man squealing like a stuck pig in your lobby. Minor chaos erupts as the residents begin to be increasingly more shrill in their demands to know 'just WHAT in the name of God's ass is going on here'. This is, of course, when Alex takes the swan dive from the top of the stairwell and splats on the lobby floor.<br /><br />Things go from bad to worse, because this about the time that the electricity in the building gets shut off, and the apartment is flooded with bright lights from outside, whilst a voice informs them via bullhorn, that "The health authorities have sealed off the building for health reasons". And because of something called a BNC threat, which we later learn translates to biological, nuclear, or chemical threat.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/Rec07.jpg"></center><br /><br />This, dear readers, is when all Hell breaks loose. The building is entirely sealed off, complete with plastic dropped from helicopters, and armed men in biohazard suits outside of the complex. But this is also the point when Angela turns to the camera, and in a deadly serious voice tells him:<br /><br />"Fuck what they say, we have to tape this, people need to know what happened". <br /><br />Generally this is the sort of thing that would make me put my hands up and shout "DONE!" in regards to the character. Because, generally, this is the sort of thing done out of sheer narcissism, but there is something in the earnest way that Angela handles herself and the situation that I couldn't help but find it endearing.<br /> <br />And remember that police officer who got attacked, and the poor fireman who was hefted down the stairs by the crazy old lady? Oh yeah, they're starting to act just like the woman, because, you know, they got bitten. <br /><br />Fortunately it doesn't take long for our little troupe to figure out that getting bitten makes you into grey faced, blood thirsty, assholes. <b>UN</b>fortunately, the grey faced, blood thirsty, assholes, are not the George A. Romero shambling variety. You know, the kind that if they manage to catch you, you probably deserve to die because they travel about a centimeter every two hours? Nope, these guys barrel at you for all they're worth. <br /><br />Fast zombies, or not zombies, whatever they are ... are harder to stay away from. So the residents of the condemned apartment complex fall one by one, the slowest, and most useless go first.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/Rec06.jpg"></center><br /><br />Okay, so this movie is more or less the mutant offspring of <b>"28 Days later"</b> and <b>"The Blair Witch Project"</b>, if it were raised by George A. Romero's <b>"The Crazies"</b>. And if you have a problem with "the shakey hand-held cam" business, you'll want to give this one a wide birth. HOWEVER, what thoroughly endeared <b>[Rec]</b> to me, and set it apart from others in this genre (namely, <b>Paranormal Activity</b> and <b>The Blair With Project</b>) is how intensely character driven it is.<br /><br />There is a tight grouping of central characters and you actually <i>care</i> about them. You like them, you want them to come out swinging, and not become one of the rage filled bumbling hoard. Angela and Pablo's relationship is touching, even though you never see Pablo, but instead see the events through him. But even as shit hits the fan, Angela always looks first to Pablo, and he, in turn, is quick to take a hold of her hand and comfort her as it gets tenser.<br /><br />Generally the faux-documentary type of movie doesn't do it for me. But the tight, almost claustrophobic, way it is filmed via hand held camera gives the viewer a sense of the tense urgency of the film. You feel involved, you're in the thick of it with them.<br /><br />There is no "happily ever after" wherein everything is tied up in a neat little bundle, but the ending had a twist to it that I actually found surprising, which is rare. Usually reveals in this type of film are contrite, or so obvious you feel beaten over the head with it. But this leaves more questions than it answers, along with a deep unsettled feeling in the stomach.<br /><br />Yes, there are flaws. Yes, there were multiple times during the film that I found myself shouting "YOU HAVE A GUN! JUST SHOOT THEM!", and I won't lie, a few of the characters you are fairly pleased to see get it. Nonetheless, I was fairly impressed with <b>[Rec]</b>. So really kids, see it, it kicks <b>Paranormal Activity</b>'s ass and takes its lunch money.<br /><br /><Center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/Rec04.jpg"></center>Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1354315648889218081.post-39710885749746270282010-09-06T15:50:00.000-07:002010-09-06T16:03:00.350-07:00So cute it's scary.Well, ladies, gentlemen, and Spooky-dos alike. Yours truly, Spooky Pie, is now the proud owner of this beauty right here:<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/almaryx9-80.jpg"></center><br /><br />I would be lying if I said that since I first started seeing all the "coming soon" stuff for <a href="http://www.monsterhigh.com/"><b>Monster High</b></a> I haven't been just ridiculously excited about it. The idea of a high school full of "teenagers" who are the offspring of the famous movie monsters is just ridiculous to the level of Kitsch and This girl loves her some Kitsch. <br /><br />Okay, so talking about a toy here is a little strange, but I felt that, all things considered, it was fitting. Especially for this girl and this blog. I mean, for goddsake, its a vampire whose favorite color is pink and has a pet bat named "Count Fabulous". I am stupidly pleased you guys, stupidly pleased. Most of the designs for the dolls are extremely cute, but this one, this one just screamed Spooky Pie. <br /><br />Scary and yet pink and girlie? Oh! And a vegtarian to boot?! (and not in that lame Twilight way, according the little bio on her packaging she really does the vegetarian thing like most normal people. Not, you know, meaning that she eats mountain lions instead of people) Who does that make us think of? Me? Oh, how sweet, you shouldn't have.<br /><br />All right, all right, this post was a little random. But whatever, I'm happy.<br /><br />Now if you'll exscuse me, I'm going to go play with my new dolly like the <strike>deranged seven year old in a twenty-something's body</strike> adult I am.Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1354315648889218081.post-50108188418252938052010-09-04T15:24:00.000-07:002010-09-04T22:37:56.640-07:00Harvest Home (novel) - 1973Yes kids, that's right, we have our first ever HORROR BOOK REVIEW here at TGDH! And it is none other that the extremely hyped up novel <u>Harvest Home</u> by Thomas Tryon.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/61H6tJ2BKV3L.jpg"></center><br /><br />I won't lie, when I found this at a used book sale (which are my Achilles heel, by the way, this girl finds it impossible to resist the lure of a good used book sale) I was *BEYOND* stoked. I had heard SO much about it, how terrifying it was, what an amazing story, and of course the "I think it's out of print, so good luck finding a copy, and if you do expect to pay hand over fist for it."<br /><br />So imagine the ludicrous smugness that settled over my person upon finding it at said book sale, and then further only having to pay $1.50 for it. I felt proud, I felt mighty, I felt that I had good and stuck it to the man; and that always makes me far too pleased with myself.<br /><br />So there I am. 'It's summer', says I, 'This is the ideal time for a good old fashioned 'scare the pants off you' type book'. Much like the tradition in Japan of beating the summer heat by sitting around and telling ghost stories, so you get the chills enough to forget that it is 100 Goddam degrees in the shade. So excited was your beloved Spooky Pie, SO EXCITED.<br /><br />I finished this book last night, and I am not anywhere near as excited anymore. <br /><br />Le Sigh.<br /><br />But before I get into how this 'meant to be awesome' book made me want to start chewing on my desk out of annoyance and frustration, let me give you the general run down of what its about.<br /><br /><u>Harvest Home</u> is the story of stereotypical, wholesome, American family, the Constantines. Father, Ned, is a miserable bureaucrat, married to dewy eyed June Cleaver-esque Beth, the daughter of a Preacher. Their daughter Kate is a fussy asthmatic, who, as far as I can tell, has never had a friend in her life.<br /><br />When our tale begins Beth's over bearing Preacher-man dad has just kicked the bucket, and the Constantines are enduring the road trip back to New York from his funeral. During said road trip they take the scenic route and happen upon the quaint hamlet of Cornwall Coombe and decide that THIS IS ABSOLUTELY WHERE THEY MUST LIVE AND THEY WILL ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTIONS SO DON'T EVEN TRY TO TALK THEM OUT OF IT BECAUSE IT WON'T WORK. Lucky for them, there's an empty house, and after a spell they get the provincial locals to cave in and sell it.<br /><br />Now that they live in the country side Ned no longer needs to make money or something and spends all his time painting, whilst Beth does... I don't know what Beth does. Maybe she lies down on her face for eight hours at a time. But everyone is so in love with the little town and their quaint, old fashioned practices.<br /><br />Namely the multitude of ceremonies they have to celebrate the various stages in the cycle of the harvest, which ultimately culminates in a giant ceremony known as "Harvest Home", at the center of which are the two villagers who have been deemed the Harvest Lord and the Corn Maiden. You know, basically hillbilly prom court. Ned can't keep his nose out of others peoples business and he stumbles upon the "pagan" belief system that the people of Cornwall Coombe have, and their "terrifying" rituals they perform to insure the growth of the corn.<br /><br />Basically: <br />* outsider comes into community<br />* outsider mocks natives' belief system<br />* outsider becomes obsessed with belied system<br />* outsider is given what for because he is a persistent bastard<br /><br />I had a multitude of issues with this book. First, and foremost, it is written in first person, and the narration of Ned Constantine is the most self-involved pompous voice ever; which alone made it hard to get through. He is, APPARENTLY, not only a genius but sex on two legs because every woman wants to jump his unemployed bones. Everyone is a caricature - Ned is supposed to come across, I think, as some sort of Byronic hero, although he just seems like a douche bag. Beth is the ideal housewife who spends a lot of time putting a hand to her bosom and making declarations that start with "Oh Darling!". And of course, the village has all of its stereotypical players as well; there's the town slut, the town crazy, and of course, the weird-ass old woman who acts as Judge Judy and executioner for the community.<br /><br />Then there's the over used tropes throughout the book, an ideal village with a dark secret... wait? That's been done before? When? Oh... 5789489737893478943987 other times? Huh... well, let's do it anyway.<br /><br />Know what else we'll do? Let's have the whole village be a bunch of "Crazy ass Pagans" who do nothing but butcher people and have sex in Cornfields, because that's totally what they do right? Right?<br /><br />Ugg.<br /><br />This sort of crap is why a lot of people still assume that being Pagan equals being a Devil Worshiper. Wow. Just wow.<br /><br />And this is yet another thing that made me think that if I were a feminist I would be up in arms about the portrayal of women in this book. Every woman is completely one dimensional, and all are thoroughly objectified and made out to be so much under the males. They are all simple minded creatures who have the singular goal of popping out babies and making food.<br /><br />I might have been offended if the whole book weren't so damn ludicrous that if I got offended about everything in it that was worth getting offended about I probably would have gotten a brain hemorrhage. <br /><br />Okay, okay, I'm getting a little irritable and long winded, so I'm going to wrap this up you guys.<br /><br />If you can get past the narration, and the fact that much of the story has been done to death a thousand times, and pretty much always better, its an okay read. The "big reveal" is fairly weak, and Tryon seems to get confused about the mythology he's already set up in the book towards the end, because it basically double back on itself and becomes a giant contradiction. <br /><br />Basically, I finished the book and went <br /><br />"...meh."<br /><br />Take that however you want guys.Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1354315648889218081.post-20912803423146764642010-08-29T18:22:00.000-07:002010-08-29T19:24:41.320-07:00You like me! You really like me!!!!It's amazing to me that, despite my recent relative negligence of this wonderful blog 'o mine, I have some how managed to have been give multiple awards for it. You have no idea how much this warms my black little heart Spooky Do's, NO-I-DE-A!!!<br /><br />However, the posts you are supposed to do when you get one of these are more work than my lazy self usually has the willpower to do, which is why I am only now, over a month later (I'm sorry, I'm a terrible girlfriend, I understand if you want to see other people) finally getting to making my post about even the first one. Okay, now that that's out of the way....<br /><br />Both <a href="http://thegirlwholoveshorror.blogspot.com/">The Girl who Loves Horror</a> And Oriel over at <a href="http://fearoffiction.blogspot.com">Fear of Fiction</a> have awarded yours truly with this beauty:<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/versatileblog.jpg"></center><br /><br />So then, here be the rules ...<br /><br /><b>1) Thank the person who gave you the award.<br /><br />2) Tell people seven things about yourself<br /><br />3) Nominate fifteen other blogs to receive said award, and tell them about it.</b><br /><br />Okay, I guess its sharing time you guys, I hope we can still be friends after this.<br /><br /><b><center>Seven Things about Spooky Pie</b></center><br /><br /><b>1.</b> I have a bizarre pathological need to drop everything I'm doing and sing along to 'Sweet Home Alabama' every time I hear it, this is occasionally very awkward depending on where I am at the time.<br /><br /><b>2.</b> One of my ultimate 'I am in a bad mood, I need something to make me happy' movies is <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0419706/"><b>Doom</b></a>. Because, honestly, when I'm having a bad day there are few things that cheer me up better than Karl Urban stalking around with a giant gun, kicking ass and taking names.<br />Say what you like about the movie, but this girl digs hot men with BFGs.<br /><br /><b>3.</b> My first car ever was named Sadako, yes, after the girl from Ringu. She was a black '64 Ford Falcon Wagon, remarkably resembled a mini-hearse, and was the love of my life. I miss that car like whoa.<br /><br /><b>4.</b> I love Nerf Guns. They are superfluous and have no reasonable place in my life. I don't care, they make me happy. I recently bought a knock-off brand of Nerf gun because it was a double barrel shot gun, complete with cocking mechanism and shells <i>that eject themselves</i>. This was also about the point that I learned what an incredibly patient person my roommate is.<br /><br /><b>5.</b> When I am stressed or unhappy I bake, a lot. You can generally tell my current state of being by the quantity of cupcakes, cookies, and other baked goods dominating my apartment.<br /><br /><b>6.</b> The first horror movie I was allowed to go see in the theater was <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0171363/"><b>The Haunting</b></a> in 1999. It's a crappy re-make of an amazing classic horror movie, but at the time I was 11 and I thought it was creepy as all hell. So I have to admit that I still have quite the soft spot for it, despite its being utter rubbish.<br /><br /><b>7.</b> I basically have a shrine to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fatal_Frame">Fatal Frame</a> in my living room, complete with a pre-release promo poster for Fatal Frame II, an antique camera, and a collection of <a href="http://www.littleappledolls.com/"><b>Little Apple Dolls</b></a> that resemble ones found in the games<br /><br /><b><center>Fifteen Blogs that I love like WHOA</center></b><br /><br /><b>1.</b> <a href="http://www.kindertrauma.com">Kindertrauma</a><br /><b>2.</b> <a href="http://finalgirl.blogspot.com/">Final Girl</a><br /><b>3.</b> <a href="http://phasmagorium.blogspot.com/">~The Phantasmagorium of Professor Pym~</a><br /><b>4.</b> <a href="http://americangothica.wordpress.com/">American Gothica</a><br /><b>5.</b> <a href="http://www.faggotyasshorror.com/">Now Kindly Undo These Straps</a><br /><b>6.</b> <a href="http://arbogastonfilm.blogspot.com/">Arbogast on Film</a><br /><b>7.</b> <a href="http://www.scaresarah.com/">Scare Sarah</a><br /><b>8.</b> <a href="http://unflinchingeye.blogspot.com/">The Unflinching Eye</a><br /><b>9.</b> <a href="http://thehalloweenblues.blogspot.com/">The Halloween Blues</a><br /><b>10.</b> <a href="http://thevaultofhorror.blogspot.com/">The Vault of Horror</a><br /><b>11.</b> <a href="http://www.drbloodsvideovault.com/"> Dr. Blood's Video Vault</a><br /><b>12.</b> <a href="http://thingthatdontsuck.blogspot.com/">Things That Don't Suck</a><br /><b>13.</b> <a href="http://www.evilontwolegs.com/">Evil on Two Legs</a><br /><b>14.</b> <a href="http://groovyageofhorror.blogspot.com/">The Groovy Age of Horror</a><br /><b>15.</b> <a href="http://drunkenseveredhead.blogspot.com/">The Drunken Severed Head</a><br /><br /><br />Now if y'all excuse me, I've got something in my eye.<br /><br />♥ ♥ ♥Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1354315648889218081.post-65995361237383116952010-08-22T19:37:00.000-07:002010-08-22T22:34:55.280-07:00Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (1973)<center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/afraid2.jpg"></center><br /><br />Well, it's been awhile since I've done a good old fashioned review her at TGDH, too long, I know, I'm a bad girlfriend to you internets, I'm sorry. Moving on though, considering my overwhelming excitement about <a href="http://thisgirldigshorror.blogspot.com/2010/07/oh-guillermo-del-toro-be-still-my-heart.html">Guillermo Del Toro's re-imagining of "Don't be Afraid of the Dark"</a> I thought I should see the original. Which turned out to be easier said than done.<br /><br />Considering it was a made for TV movie from the 70's, it was stupidly difficult to hunt down. And when I finally did I ended up with a slightly rubbish version, that at times made weird blipping noises on the sound track, and at other times the audio didn't quite synch up, and was fairly grainy the whole way through. By I plodded through it, my darlings, I plodded through it for YOU.<br /><br />Yes you, in the back of the room, trying to sneak out like you thought I couldn't see you! Sorry buster, pointing right at you, so get back in your seat, no one leaves until the presentation is over.<br /><br />Anyway, stop distracting me now or we'll never get out of here. So 'Don't be Afraid of the Dark'. Wow, I feel that this is one that I can have an absolute Academic field day with, dissecting the intentional, or otherwise, symbolism that this film is filled to the brim with. On the surface, it's like 'Poltergeist', 'The Descent', and snippets of the original 'Dark Water' were thrown into a pot together and mashed up like potatoes. But, like I said, that's just on the surface. And if there is one evident thing that 'Don't be Afraid of the Dark' deals with, it's that what you see on the outside in no way matches the inner workings. <br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/afraid16.jpg"></center><br /><br />So before we pop the hood and take a look at the engine, so to speak, let's inspect the body of the thing, since so much of this film deals with the idea of a disconnect between inside and outside. So then, on the outside, our film opens with, seemingly, normal, well off, red-blooded American, husband and wife team Sally and Alex Farnham.<br /><br />Sally has inherited an enormous, gorgeous, mansion from her grandmother. I can write volumes on how much I love that damn house, but we'll come to that later. Sally, however, thinks that Grandma didn't have half the sense God gave her when it comes to interior decorating, so her and her flamboyant decorator buddy are in the process of ripping the place to shreds and throwing as much paint, draperies, and area rugs to mask Grandmama's apparent poor taste. Alex, the human Ken doll, is content to let Sally just wreck as much havoc as possible, because hey, she's a woman, let's just let her do her womanly things.<br /><br />Alex is generally not concerned about Sally's interests anyway. Alex is only concerned about Alex's business. He's a lawyer ... or something? He might just be a professional douchebag. His policy seems to be that if Sally isn't organizing a party or fixing him a sammich, she should just shut the Hell up. So as Sally continues to try and fill the hole in her soul that might otherwise be filled with spousal affection she stumbles in to dear old Grandad's boarded up study. And by study, I mean tiny dark room probably filled with mildew. For some reason or another Sally thinks that this place is HER IDEAL ROOM LIKE WHOA. LIKE SERIOUSLY, SHE NEEDS TO HAVE THIS ROOM LIKE FIVE DAYS AGO. And she in no way finds it odd that the fireplace is bricked up. Or that the old Carpenter man who has been helping with renovations says all kinds of creepy old man things about "some things being better left alone."<br /><br />Sally decides that the old man, and probably her Grandad too, is a giant moron and just waits until he leaves and then jimmies the thing open with the tools he left behind. Because that's not a terrible idea or anything.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/afraid17.jpg"></center><br /><br />That is, of course, when everything goes to Hell. I bet you're shocked. I'm shocked, horrible things never happen when a somewhat spooky old man whose "done seen things with his own two eyes" is ignored. From that point on Sally starts being plagued by disembodied voices chanting her name, and doing juvenile pranks to make her look crazy.<br /><br />All of these shenanigans start to make Sally go a bit apey, and Alex, being the supportive husband he is, basically informs her that she's stupid and to suck it up and throw him a party. But Sally wants her <strike>abusive asshole</strike> husband to be happy, so throws him a party despite being on the verge of a nervous collapse. Sally is a brave little soldier, so she puts on the most horrible 1970's dress she can get her hands on and plays the dancing bear for Alex's arrogant WASP friends. The little beasties Sally released from the fireplace don't like that these people are turning their house into party central, so they help Sally to have that mental breakdown that was in the making.<br /><br /><Center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/afraid10.jpg"></center><br /><br />Alex is so sweet, and considerate, and attentive, that he is completely supportive of his wife's fragile mental state. And by supportive, I mean he sits her down and screams at the top of his lungs at her. He, in fact, at one point, bellows "STOP BEING SO SCARED" at her. I wish I was making that up. Obviously Alex won the title of 'Mr.Asshole '73'. So then Alex goes off with his fellow holier-than-thou bureaucrats and tells Sally that if she doesn't get the crazy out by the time he gets home he just might have to ship her off to one of those places that take care of hysterical women with overblown cases of the Vapors.<br /><br />So then Sally is left alone with the little dudes that she let out. Who only show up when it's dark because they're ultra photosensitive. Fair enough. But honestly, much scarier before you actually see what they look like.<br /><br />In theory, these things are akin to the "Crawlers" in 'The Descent'. Photosensitive beings that dwell in the underground, and shuffle around in the dark making bizzare noises. Although the similarity stops there, sure, I cut some slack because it's 1973. But the little demon things look like tiny sad old men with gorilla bodies. And that did kill a bit of the scare factor for this girl, sorry to say.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/afraid8.jpg"></center><br /><br />However, this film is a psychological goldmine. As when I discussed 'Candyman', I reiterate that I do not consider myself a feminist, but I could help but see a truly feminist angle to the film. Furthermore, 'Don't be Afraid of the Dark' comes across a more modernized version of the <a href="http://www.library.csi.cuny.edu/dept/history/lavender/wallpaper.html">The Yellow Wallpaper</a>. Just take away the fixation on ugly wallpaper with a woman supposedly lurking behind it, and make it a fixation on darkness dwelling creature and you have an almost direct parallel.<br /><br /><i>"It is very seldom that mere ordinary people like John and myself secure ancestral halls for the summer.<br />A colonial mansion, a hereditary estate, I would say a haunted house, and reach the height of romantic felicity--but that would be asking too much of fate! Still I will proudly declare that there is something queer about it.<br />Else, why should it be let so cheaply? And why have stood so long untenanted?<br />John laughs at me, of course, but one expects that in marriage.<br />John is practical in the extreme. He has no patience with faith, an intense horror of superstition, and he scoffs openly at any talk of things not to be felt and seen and put down in figures.<br />...<br />one's own husband, assures friends and relatives that there is really nothing the matter with one but temporary nervous depression--a slight hysterical tendency"</i><br /><br />Intentional or otherwise, the resemblance is striking. Both women are wives of affluent husbands, both are expected to upkeep a certain appearance of Upper Society and any deviance is deemed dementia. In both cases as well the husband can be seen as just as much the aggressor as the women's respective "demons". And on the account of maintaining appearances, both women have to fight the evils on their own, while their husbands only start to be even remotely sympathetic when the hypothetical shit has already hit the fan.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e367/anticherries/this%20girl%20digs%20horror/afraid9.jpg"></center><br /><br />Don't get me wrong. 'Don't Be Afraid of the Dark' is no masterpiece. It is flawed, intensely so. If you can get away from the fact that Sally is 'Miri' from the Original Star Trek episode of the same name, she doesn't exactly have the best acting skills, that and I had an intense paranoia that the other awful children from said Star Trek were going to show up at any minute, and that would be scarier than the cheaply done demons skulking through out the film. But bearing in mind that it was a made for TV movie from 1973, it actually holds its ground fairly well against cinema-bound movies of the same genre. If nothing else, it is worth a watch for the absolutely stunning house that it is shot in. Seriously, this girl would be beating down the door to live there. <br /><br />Skulking demons be damned, I would vacuum up the little bastards and move on in.<br /><br />However, it's an enjoyable, if not depth-plumbed watch. And it's a film that I cannot wait to see transformed in Guillermo Del Toro's more than capable hands.Spooky Piehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356338038946531404noreply@blogger.com1