If that doesn't give you the warm fuzzies then God help you, I don't know what will. But is this season of festivity and giving really about love and kindness? Have we forgotten the true meaning of Christmas? And by true meaning, I am, of course, referring to;
PURE UNDILUTED TERROR
For the love of God and all that is holy, HAVE WE FORGOTTEN ABOUT KRAMPUS?!?!.
Sure, when most people think of Christmas the first image that comes to mind is kindly old Saint Nick breaking and entering into our households in the name of tasty, tasty commercialism. But the real ringleader in this circus is his friend, the demon Krampus. Let's face it, there are things, much, much, much worse than getting friggin' COAL for being naughty.
Good 'ol Krampus likes to beat Naughty Children with Rusty chains and then stuff them in his sack. I don't know where Krampus takes the little Hell spawns, and quite frankly, I don't want to.
So ladies and gentlemen, as you sit down to your happy Christmas activities this year, just take a moment and remember the sage advice of our good friend Stephen Colbert.
Krampus knows when you've been naughty, knows when you've been nice,AND HE KNOWS WHEN YOU SHOWER ALONE
Happy Christmas Dears and Darlings!